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演员：甄嬛、浣碧、安陵容、华妃、宫女、太监、皇上The biography of Zhenhuan 第一幕 ZhenHuan: You see, Huan Bi, what do you think of this handkerchief?甄嬛：浣碧，你看看我这帕子绣的如何？HuanBi: Answer to my young master, your workmanship is excellent! I think the emperor would be fond of it.浣碧：回小主的话，小主的手艺是极好的，想必皇上看了也会爱不释手的。ZhenHuan: Ah, Your mouth is really sweet. It remains to be seen whether youare still so articulate when you get married.甄嬛：你呀，小嘴又甜了，看你以后结了婚还能不能这么会说。HuanBi: No ，no，no ,I am too young to get married.浣碧：小主说什么呢，人家还小呢，我才不嫁人呢！ZhenHuan: Oh, come on! You are not little except your eyes. Get married as quickly as you can. Once entering the palace, it is hard to get outtoo hard to get out too hard to get outget out（回头拍浣碧）甄嬛：你让大家看一看，你除了眼睛小还哪儿小呀？要嫁赶紧嫁，可别像我一样，一入宫门深似海，深似海呀深似海（回头拍浣碧）。HuanBi: To inform my young master, Master An wants to see you.浣碧：启禀小主，安小主想要见您。ZhenHuan: Yes, ask her to come in, please.甄嬛：请进来吧。Anling: Your Majesty .安陵容：陵容参见姐姐。（拜）ZhenHuan: Please be up. (扶).甄嬛：妹妹快请起。（扶）(The Two bow to each other)两个人拜两拜。ZhenHuan: Please have a seat. Just a day without seeing you, why are your voice become so harsh?甄嬛：坐。一日不见妹妹，这嗓子怎么变了这个声音呀。Anling: You dont know, recently I suffer from throat illness again, and the emperor also has not come to see me for a long time安陵容：姐姐有所不知，近日妹妹的喉疾又犯了，就连皇上也几日没有来看过我了。ZhenHuan: Throat illness? Didnt you just have a piles operation last month? How quickly the disease recurred. HuanBi, go to the royal hospital and take some Madingrong for her soon.甄嬛：喉疾？你不是上个月才做的痔疮手术吗？怎么这么快又复发了？浣碧，一会儿到太医院找温大人开点马丁荣来，送与小主。HuanBi: My young master, we have it at hand.(拿灭火器)浣碧：小主，咱们这儿就有。（拿灭火器）Anling: You are so lucky that you can get everything you want. While I am so humble and always looked down upon. Andkeep this Madingrong for yourself. You see, I have been much better, now I can even sing !安陵容：姐姐真是好福气，宫里要什么有什么，不似陵容，身份低微的，人也总被人瞧不起。不过这马丁荣软膏就留给姐姐自己用吧，你看，妹妹的嗓子已经好了，还能唱歌呢。ZhenHuan: Oh? Would you sing for me?甄嬛：那你唱与本宫听听。江南可采莲江南可采莲。ZhenHuan: The song is too vulgar, but your voice as mildly crisp as oriole, and you are the super dancing queen in the entire palace! Come on, have some tea for your throat.甄嬛：太俗了，不过妹妹的嗓子却如黄鹂般婉转清脆，连论舞技都是后宫里的superdancingqueen呢！快，来喝口茶润润嗓子吧。Anling: Hey, what is it? It is not your Snow top with Tracy.陵容：咦，这是什么茶，不似姐姐平日里喝的雪顶含翠。ZhenHuan: Try it first and see whether you like it or not.甄嬛：你先尝尝再说，看喜欢不喜欢。Anling:（喝一口，吐）The tea is good, but it smells like the bird droppings.安陵容：（喝一口，吐）茶是不错，不过陵容喝着总是有一股鸟屎味。ZhenHuan: I know you are good at making spices. It seems that you always eat the bird roppings. You a fool. This is western tribute tea, called snow cap of coffee, and Im the only person to have the tea beside the emperor.甄嬛：本宫平日知道妹妹善于制香，今日妹妹这么一说，看来妹妹平时没少吃过鸟屎。这是今年西洋进贡的茶，叫雪顶咖啡，皇上独独御赐给了我呢。Anling: How dare I compare with you ? Keep this snow cap of coffee for yourself. You see, Huafei is coming, and I dont want to have anything to do with her. So, allow me to leave now. 安陵容：陵容哪敢跟姐姐相提并论，这雪顶咖啡还是留给姐姐一人享用吧，姐姐你看，华妃娘娘来了，我平日素不愿与她来往，陵容先行告退。第二幕Eunuch: HuaFei is coming!太监：华妃娘娘驾到。ZhenHuan: Your Majesty! Long live the empress!甄嬛：给华妃娘娘请安，娘娘万福金安。HuaFei: Dont stand up until someone applaud for you.(after 20 seconds) OK, you can be up now!华妃：没有人给你鼓掌，你就不能起来。起来吧。ZhenHuan: Thank you.甄嬛：谢娘娘。（华妃放杯子）放杯子。HuaFei: It seems that your handicraft is better than before. Is this for the emperor?华妃“几日不见妹妹，妹妹的手艺又好了。这是绣给皇上的？ZhenHuan: You always miss nothing! I will give the emperor this handkerchief to express my love for him.甄嬛：什么都瞒不住姐姐，这个帕子正是送与皇上的来表达我对他的爱。HuaFei: Love? The emperor love you? Oh , come on! Im the only woman the emperor loves ! Id like to tell you what is the emperors love.华妃：爱？皇上爱你吗？皇上爱的是本宫，本宫倒想让你看看什么叫皇上的爱。ZhenHuan: Ah, your headwear is really beautiful!甄嬛：呀，姐姐的头饰可真漂亮呀。HuaFei: If you like it and I will take it off and give it to you. Oh, but you are still only a concubine of the emperor, so you cant wear this Mickey new style.华妃：喜欢我的头饰那我摘下来给你，哎呦我忘了，妹妹还是嫔位，不能带我们妃位的米奇新款。ZhenHuan: You are kidding!（？不太确定妹妹哪敢跟姐姐相提并论呀）How dare I compare with you? Because of your good figure and beauty, so the emperor dressed you with the lamp.甄嬛：姐姐说笑了，妹妹哪敢跟姐姐相提并论呀？凭姐姐这身材，这相貌，皇上才给姐姐装灯的。HuaFei: No matter how I dressed , it is not for myself. I am the woman who manage the six palace, so I cant dress shabby like someone.华妃：装不装灯的我也不是为了自己，咱毕竟要协理六宫，不能像某些人穿得那么寒酸。（甄嬛暗中换杯子）换杯子。HuaFei: But then again, I also dress it for myself. Look, there are so many beautiful girls who are the emperors new beloveds sitting under the stage.华妃：可这话说回来，我又何尝不是为了自己。你看台下坐着的，。ZhenHuan: So many new beloveds. The emperor is really great.甄嬛：今年这么多新宠，皇上可真厉害。HuaFei: Yep, we both know how the emperor is. Write down the names of the beautiful girls who are under the stage , and I will train them .Now have my HuanYixiang .on.华妃：是呀，皇上身体怎么样，咱俩都知道。去，把台下漂亮女生的名字都记下来，本宫要好好调教一下，顺便把本宫的欢宜香点上。Maidservant: Yes ,sir.宫女：是。ZhenHuan:You are so lucky to be the only person to get Huan Yixiang given by the Emperor.甄嬛：呦，这欢宜香可是皇上御赐给姐姐的呢。姐姐是真真的好福气呢。Hua Fei: It is because of this perfume that others think me too luxurious. And they all know you are a thrifty housewife, nothing is wasted in your house, even your servants are also energy-saving and emission-reduction.华妃：就是因为用这个香，多少人说我奢侈，可后宫的人都知道妹妹才是勤俭持家的好女人，妹妹不仅用东西节俭，就连身边的佣人长得也节能减排。ZhenHuan: Thanks for your praise. Huan Bi is my personal maidservant. She can do almost everything. During the day, she is a guard and she is a maid at night. So It is true there is nothing in this world that Huanbi can not do.(转头向浣碧)I command you to take this handkerchief to the emperor and tell him that I miss him.甄嬛：姐姐过奖了，浣碧是我的贴身陪嫁，日夜兼用型，白天是侍卫，晚上是宫女，正所谓浣碧会武术，谁也挡不住。去把这帕子交予皇上，告诉他本宫想他了。Maidservant: Your Majesty, this is the list of the beautiful girls under the stage.宫女：娘娘，这是台下漂亮女生的名单。HuaFei: Beautiful girlshey, their names are good, I will reward them all.华妃：漂亮女生，（名字）哎呦，名字都不错呢，本宫统统都有赏。Maidservant: What does Empress reward them?宫女：敢问娘娘赏什么呢？HuaFei: Yizhanghong！华妃：一杖红。Maidservant: Yes！（指太监）Here！(太监上台，参见娘娘)Give each of them Yizhanghong！宫女：是，来人，（太监上台，参见娘娘）一杖红Eunuch: Yes sir！太监：嗻ZhenHuan: You are really generous！甄嬛：姐姐是真大方呀。HuaFei: Yeah，would you have one, too？华妃：一杖红说给就给，要不给你也来一套？ZhenHuan: No, I m afraid I dont have this fortune.甄嬛：不用了，嫔妾怕是无福消受呀。HuanBi: To inform my young master, the Emperor wants you to serve him tonight. Please go back and get prepared浣碧：启禀娘娘，皇上今天翻的是您的绿头牌，快回去准备侍寝吧。ZhenHuan: I got it. I am so sorry that I have to take a bath. And if You dont want the crows-feet emerging behind your ear, just go back earlier and sleep. Excuse me, I gotta go!甄嬛：知道了，下去吧。姐姐真是对不住了，嫔妾要去沐浴更衣了，你也早点回去休息吧，看你的鱼尾纹都已经长到耳朵丫子上去了。告辞。第三幕Maidservant: This zhenhuan always wants to be your equals by relying on the emperors Love . She is too ignorant!宫女：这个菀嫔仗着皇上的宠幸就想和娘娘平起平坐，真是不知好歹。HuaFei: I have no way that the emperor is so partial to her. You know，The emperor bought her a new iphone-5 just because of her sweet words. When I asked for iphone-5 , I got five bags of apple instead.（提五袋苹果）I am really so so upset.华妃：皇上宠她我有什么办法，这不是iphone又出新品了嘛，她说了两句皇上就给她买了个苹果五代，我也跟皇上要苹果五代，结果皇上给了我五袋苹果。Maidservant: OH! My lady! It is fortunate for you to get Red Fuji! I heard that others even can not have it at all.宫女：哎呀娘娘，红富士就不错了，听说别的宫里连都用不上。HuaFei: Though I envy her very much, But one thing that makes me happy is that she drank the tea includong the croton. Ha !ha!ha! Let her enjoy it!华妃：皇上宠她我当然不高兴，不过有一件事挺值得高兴的，他毕竟还是喝下了那杯有巴豆的茶，让她爽去吧。ZhenHuan: Yo, I almost forgot to tell you that I replaced your cup with mine. And the croton is in yours甄嬛：呦，忘了告诉姐姐，你那个杯子让我换掉了，你喝的才是有巴豆的。HuaFei: I know you are so careful, therefore I put the cup including croton in my side in advance. So you will have a diarrhea.华妃：就知道妹妹谨慎，所以我把杯子事先有毒的放到我这边，拉稀的还是你。ZhenHuan: You, diarrhea.甄嬛：你拉稀。HuaFei: You,华妃：你拉稀。ZhenHuan: Its You.甄嬛：你拉稀。HuaFei: You.华妃：你拉稀。ZhenHuan: You, and your whole family ，diarrhea.!甄嬛：你拉稀，你全家都拉稀。HuaFei: Songzhi, tell her which cup including the croton?华妃：松芝告诉他，到底哪杯有巴豆？Maidservant: If you want to know that, I will tell you the truth. I put the croton into the both cups. And you both of you will have a diarrhea!宫女：既然两位这么想知道，那我就告诉你们吧，这两杯呀，我都下了药。HuaFei: So, you are the spy of the Queen , isnt it?华妃：你是皇后派来的卧底是不是？Maidservant: Ha ha ha, youve got it.宫女：哈哈哈，你猜对了。ZhenHuan: Why? Why do you work so hard for the Old Abnormal Queen?甄嬛：什么，你既然为乌拉那拉宜修那个老变态卖命。Maidservant: Wow, both of you better save your strength to go to the toilet,and I will go for a reward from the Queen. See you soon!宫女：呦，两位还是省省力气留着茅房里使吧，我要到皇后娘娘那儿领赏了，后会有期。第四幕Eunuch: The emperor is coming.太监：皇上驾到。Anling: Your Majesty, Please take care of yourself to avoid catching a cold.安陵容：皇上天寒地冻，仔细伤了龙体。Emperor: It doesnt matter.皇上：没事。Anling: Recently I make a new spice, I think you will like it.安陵容：臣妾近日新调了一种香料，相信皇上您会喜欢的。Emperor: Forget it. Go to the palace and fetch a sweater for me .皇上：不必。你去回宫先拿一件毛衣，然后再来见朕。Anling: Your Majesty.安陵容：皇上Emperor: Hurry!I am so tired to cope with this kind of women. Huan Huan.皇上：快去。后宫三千不可少，应付起来真烦恼。嬛嬛。Zhen Huan: Silang甄嬛：四郎。Emperor: Whats wrong with you? 皇上：嬛嬛你怎么了？ZhenHuan: Silang, do you have any toilet paper?甄嬛：四郎，你有手纸吗？Emperor: No.皇上：这个真没有。ZhenHuan:Silang, I am afraid I cant serve you tonight, because Huanfei put the croton in my cup.甄嬛：四郎，华妃那个毒妇在臣妾的杯子里下了巴豆，恐怕今晚臣妾不能服侍您了。Emperor: Oh, my poor dearling! Huanfei, you are a cruel women! Kneel down right now!皇上：我的小心肝，华妃，你这个恶毒的女人，给我跪下。HuaFei: Your Majesty, how can you blame me? Its the Queen who poisoned us , and I cant hold it! Do you have any toilet paper, or draft paper?(跪下，抱脚 )华妃：皇上，你怎么能怪罪臣妾呢，都是皇后派人下的毒，而且臣妾这也hold不住了。皇上有没有手纸，没有手纸草纸也行呀。Emperor: None at all! Do you think I will believe you? I know everything your brother does in collusion with others. Believe it or not I can disthrone your concubines position and put you into the Limbo right now.皇上：什么纸都没有。你觉得你说的话朕会信吗？别以为你和你哥哥后宫官场两相勾结的事朕也不知道，信不信朕现在就废了你的妃位把你打入冷宫。HuaFei: Your Majesty, please dont do it! I gotta to have a dragon baby for you.华妃：皇上，我还得为你孕育龙种呢。ZhenHuan: Dont even think about it! Do you know why the emperor gives you Huanyixiang? Because it was put into a lot of musk, and it will makes you infertile. So, now you just like a barren field that grows nothing. You are wasting the emperors energy.(踢华妃一脚)甄嬛：就凭你想都别想，你知道皇上为什么给你欢宜香吗？里面放了大量的麝香，大家都知道芳香所散之处必有滑胎堕胎不孕不育之功效，现在的你就是一块盐碱地，种啥啥不长。你都浪费了皇上的雨露了。（踢华妃一脚）HuaFei:Either let me live, or let me die! And even if I die, I will die elegantly. (开灯、喝水、自杀)华妃：皇上不让我生就是让我死，就算我死也要华丽地死去。（开灯，喝水，自杀）ZhenHuan: HuaFei, you sacrifice your life to prove the words that only a ruthless woman can raise. (转向皇上)SiLang, where do we go to enjoy ourselves tonight?甄嬛：华妃，你牺牲用你的生命为台下的姐妹应证了一句话女人心不狠，一定站不稳。皇上今晚我们上哪儿玩？Emperor: Oh? I heard that Huaqiao University has many beautiful girls recently. Look, they are in the audience. Lets go and have a look!皇上：今天晚上？听说华大新进了不少的秀女，你看看，不都在台下看着呢吗？走，跟朕瞧瞧去。ZhenHuan:They are already rewarded Yizhanghong. So now their color is really brilliant.甄嬛：都被华妃赏了一杖红了，那颜色才叫一个鲜艳。Emperor: Oh, forget it! (做呕吐状) This is disgusting. Let we go back to the palace!皇上：那还是算了吧，太惨了，那你送朕回宫吧！
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