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单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,高中英语复习,写作讲评课,Assessment &,practice of Writing,2008,年奥运会刚刚落幕，一家英文报刊在其网站上征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议。假设你叫李华，是该报的一名读者，请给该报编辑部写一封信，谈谈你的建议和理由,内容包括：,向公众开放，用于健身,租给体育公司，创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客,Dear editor,I am Li Hua, a reader of your paper.,评分的四大纬度,内容,语法,思想,框架,-,组织结构,要点全，拓展有度，有效,连接词，作文结构紧凑；,流畅,准确，复杂语法结构，高级词汇，多种句型,开放能引起读者的共鸣,灵魂,常见错误,:,1.,单词拼写或用错：,Give you some advise,I just provide you my own suggests.,They can attact visitors.,advice,suggestion,attract,问题,:,2.,时态语态问题,We may given it to the PE company.,We may,give,it to the PE company.,3.,主谓一致问题,The sport stadiums is very great and is highly spoken of by the foreigners.,The sport stadiums,are,very great and,are highly spoken,of by the foreigners,.,4.,逐字翻译问题,The stadiums can open to people for do exercise use.,The stadiums can,be opened,to,people for doing exercises.,问题,:,5.,词性混淆问题,It can creative money.,It can create/bring in money.,Many people can use them to strong our body.,Many people can use them to,strengthen,our body.,6.,介词短语的运用问题,I am writing to make some advice for how to make full use of the sports stadium.,I am writing to make some advice,on,how to make full use of the sports stadium.,问题,:,句子结构不完整,Only make full use of them does it make sense,.,Only,by making,full use of them does it make sense,The 29th Olympic Games which hosted in Beijing were held successfully.,The 29th Olympic Games,which were hosted,in Beijing were,held successfully.,1.,审题,2.,列提纲,/,要点,3.,连词成句,4.,连句成篇,5.,润色修正,6.,定稿,写作步骤,:,体裁,时态,结构,要求,字数,内容,信息,2,信息,3,信息,4,开头,正文,结尾,1.,审题,:,体裁,人称,时态,要求,结构,字数,内容,一般现在时,Para.1,Para.2,Para.3,抓要点, 120,个左右,信息,1,信息,5,08,年奥运会刚刚落幕,.,征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议,.,你想写一些建议,.,向公众开放，用于健身,总结，意愿,书信格式,租给体育公司，创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客,第一,三人称,08,年奥运会刚刚落幕,.,征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议,.,你想写一些建议,2.,列提纲,/,要点,开头,信息,1,08,年奥运会刚刚落幕,.,征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议,.,你想写一些建议,.,.,Want to write some advice/Would like to give you some advice,Contribute some suggestions to you.,Collect some advice,How to use/make use of /make the best of the stadiums.,After the Olympic Games,After Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games .,The 2008 Beijing Olympic/,were over/finished/held successfully in Beijing.,向公众开放，用于健身,.,租给体育公司，创造经济效益,.,开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客,2.,列提纲,/,要点,.,Use it as/be used for/as; take it as; open it for,Places of interest/tourist attractions,Attract tourists/appeal to visitors/ be attraction for visitors,Give to/Rentto/be rented to,Sport company/companies which organize matches/,organizing,matches,Make/ create money; bring in money/make more profits,Open/be opened to the people/public/open them to public.,Be used for/as; be made to;,Do some exercise/build our bodies/strengthen our bodies,信息,2,信息,3,信息,4,向公众开放，用于健身,租给体育公司，创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客,正,文,2.,列提纲,/,要点,.,信息,5,总结，意愿,结尾,In my opinion/ as far as I am concerned./from my point of view.,I would appreciate,I would you will think of /takeinto consideration.,开头,信息,1,08,年奥运会刚刚落幕,.,征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议,.,你想写一些建议,.,.,3.,连词成句,The 2008 Beijing Olympic Games were over/finished.,The 29th Olympic Games were held successfully in Beijing.,Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games with a great success.,The 29th Olympic Games,were hosted,in Beijing,with a great success.,Beijing,achieved its dream of,hosting the 29th Olympic Games successfully.,Collect some advice,How to use/make use of /make the best of the stadiums.,After the Olympic Games,After Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games .,You are collecting some advice,on how to make use of,the stadiums after Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games .,I hear you are collecting some advice,on how to make the best of,the stadiums after Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games successfully.,Want to write some advice/Would like to give you some advice,Contribute some suggestions to you.,I,would like to,give you some advice.,I would like to,contribute,the following suggestions,to,you,4.,Use it as/be used for/as;take it as;open it for,Places of interests/tourist attractions,Attract tourists/appeal to visitors/ be attraction for visitors,3.,Give to/Rentto/be rented to,Sport company/companies which organize matches/,organizing,matches,Make/create money; bring in money/make more profits,信息,2,信息,3,信息,4,向公众开放，用于健身,租给体育公司，创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客,正,文,3.,连词成句,2.Open/be opened to the people/public/open them to public.,Be used for/as; be made to;,Do some exercise/build our body/strengthen our bodies,2.,The stadiums can,be opened to,the public.,The public can,build,their,bodies,/strengthen,their bodies,3.The stadiums can,be rented to,sport company which organize matches.,It can,bring in,more,money,/make more,profits,4.They can,be used as,tourist attraction.,It can attract many visitors.,.,信息,5,总结，意愿,结尾,In my opinion/ as far as I am concerned./from my point of view.,I would appreciate,I would you will think of /takeinto consideration.,In a word,3.,连词成句,From my point of view, we should,do what we can to make,full use of the stadium.,I would appreciate it if,you would take my advice,into,deep,consideration,4.,连句成篇,Para.1:,The 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success. I hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums. I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,Para.2:,The stadiums can be opened to the public. The public can build their bodies/strengthen their bodies. The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in more money/make more profits. They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors.,Para.3:,From my point of view, we should do what we can to make full use the stadium. I would appreciate it if you would take my advice into deep consideration,4.,连句成篇,Para.1:,The 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success. I hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums. I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,Para.1:,I hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums after the 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success. Here I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,4.,连句成篇,Para.2:,The stadiums can be opened to the public. The public can strengthen their bodies. The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in much more profits. They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors.,Para.2: First of all,the stadiums can be opened to the public.The public can strengthen their bodies.,Secondly,The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in much more profits.,last but not least,They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors.,First of all Firstly,To begin with,In addition,Besides,Moreover,Whats more,Finally,Whats worse,使用恰当的连接词,逻辑角度,合适的过渡性词汇,排序关系,并列关系,举例关系,转折关系,因果关系,归纳总结,递进关系,first; firstly; second; secondly; last but not least,and; too; as well as; along with; together with,for example; for instance; like; such as; as to,but; however; while; though; on the contrary,because; since; thanks to; as a result /consequence (of); thus; therefore,in a word; in short; to sum up; in conclusion,whats more; besides; to make matters worse; whats worse; worse still; furthermore,4.,连句成篇,I heard you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums,after,the 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success.,Here,I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,First of all,the stadiums can be opened to the public. The public can strengthen their bodies.,Secondly,The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in much more profits.,last but not least,They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors.,From my point of view, we should do what we can to make full use the stadium. I would appreciate it,very much,if you would take my advice into deep consideration,5.,润色修正,二,.,使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档,三,.,巧用倒装增强句子表现力,四,.,尝试多样化表达方式,5.,润,色,修,正,方,式,一,.,使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力,强调句,With,短语复合结构,定语从句,名词性从句,(,主宾表同从句,),各种状语从句,被动语态,一,.,使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力,1. Many people want to visit the stadium,.,2. The stadium is useful.,Many people are dying to visit the stadium.,The stadium is of great value.,5.,润色修正,1.The 29th Olympic Games were successfully ended. It left many stadiums unused,The 29th Olympic Games were successfully ended, leaving many stadiums unused.,二,.,使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档,5.,润色修正,1.we can let stadium make sense Only when we make full use of the stadium,2. The stadiums can be rented to the physical company to create more economic profits. they can be the places to appeal visitors to pay a visit.,Only when we make full use of the stadium can we let stadium make sense.,Not only can the stadiums be rented to the physical company to create more economic profits, but also they can be the places to appeal visitors to pay a visit.,5.,润色修正,三,.,巧用倒装增强句子表现力,We should take,the Olympic stadiums,into consideration after Beijing hosted the games successfully.,The 29th Olympic Games were ended successfully. we start talking about how to use the stadiums properly for our daily lives,It is the Olympic stadiums that we should take into consideration after Beijing hosted the games successfully.,With the 29th Olympic Games ended successfully, we start talking about how to use the stadiums properly for our daily lives.,5.,润色修正,四,.,尝试多样化表达方式,强调句,With,短语复合结构,You can open them for the public. The stadiums can be used to take exercise.,You can open the stadiums which can be used to take exercise for the public.,5.,润色修正,四,.,尝试多样化表达方式,定语从句,各种状语从句,我们锻炼的越多，我们就越健康。,The more exercises we take, the healthier we will become.,被动语态,We should pay more attention to the stadiums,.,More attention should be paid to the stadiums.,I heard you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums,after,the 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success.,Here,I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,First of all,the stadiums can be opened to the public. The public can strengthen their bodies.,Secondly,The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in much more profits.,last but not least,They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors.,From my point of view, we should do what we can to make full use the stadium. I would appreciate it,very much,if you would take my advice into deep consideration,5.,润色修正,高考书面表达各档次的给分范围和要求,第五档（,21-25,分）,完全完成,了试题规定的任务,:,准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容，要点无遗漏,应用了较多的语法结构和词汇,语法结构和词汇有少许错误，但为尽可能使用较复杂表达方式,所致；具备较强的语言应用能力,有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑,完全达到了预期的写作目的。,第四档（,16-20,分）,完成,了试题规定的任务,:,比较准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容,应用语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求,语法结构和词汇应用基本准确，少许错误主要是因为尝试较复,杂语言结构或词汇所致,应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑达到了预期的写作目的。,With,the 29th Olympic Games ended successfully,What we should do now,is how to make full use of the stadiums. I heard you,are dying for,some advice on how to make the best of them.,Here,I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,First of all,the stadiums can be opened to the public,where,they can,strengthen,their bodies conveniently.,Secondly,The stadiums can be rented to sport companies which organize matches,thus bringing,in much more profits.,last but not least,They can be used as tourist attraction. Because many of them are so well designed with strong Chinese features that they will surely be attractions for visitors from all over the world.,From my point of view, we should do what we can to make full use of the stadiums.,Only when,we take actions,can,we bring a bright future to their value. I would appreciate,it,very much,if,you would take my advice into deep consideration,润色修正,学校英语社征稿，请同学们就校园清洁清洁问题,和校园环境发表看法，并提出建议，,包括如下内容：,词数：,120,个左右。,注意：题目已为你写出，不计入总词数。,Better schoolyard contributes to a better school life,Homework,美好环境让人感到舒适，心情愉快，从而提高效率（,efficiency,）；,就校园做清洁和保洁提两点建议；,就美化校园提两点建议。,
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