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单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,Click to edit Master title style,Click to edit Master text styles,*,单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,高 中 英 语 作 文 讲 评,白银市平川中学 周有勤,Writing,How to improve our writing language,书面表达,:,假定你是李华,北京人，,2008,年奥运会将在北京举办,现在正在招募志愿者,你希望成为其中一员。请按要求用英文给组委会写一封申请信。,内容应包括,:,个人情况：年龄、性别、学历,个人条件：英语好、爱好体育、善于交往、乐于助人、熟悉本地情况,承诺：提供最佳服务,注意：,1.,词数,100,左右，开头语已为你写好,2.,可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯,生词：申请,-apply(v.),application(n.),；,志愿者,volunteer,书面表达,:,假定你是,李华,北京人,，,2008,年奥运会,将在北京举办,现在正在招募,志愿者,你希望成为其中一员。请按要求用英文给组委会写一封,申请信,.,内容应包括,:,个人情况：,年龄、性别、学历,个人条件：,英语好、爱好体育、善于交往、乐于助人、熟 悉本地情况,承诺：提供,最佳服务,注意：,1.,词数,100,左右，开头语已为你写好,2.,可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯,生词：申请,-apply(v.),application(n.),；,志愿者,volunteer,Dear Sir or Madam,My name is Li,Hua,.I would like to work as a volunteer for the 2008 Olympics.,Im a boy and Im 18.I was born in Beijing.Im a middle school student.I want to do something for the 2008 Olympics.Im good at English.I like sports.Im good at communicating with others.I like helping others.Im familiar with Beijing.It is important for the work.,If you give me the chance,Ill try my best to offer the best service to others.Please accept my application.I wont disappoint you!,Looking forward to your reply.,Yours faithfully,Li,Hua,18,分,Characteristics of a full-mark composition,2,.Complete:,cover all the information with nothing lost.,3,.,Correct:,use correct words,sentences and,punctuation,marks,in expression.,4.,Various:,use,varieties of,words and sentence patterns to,express the ideas freely.,5.,Cohesive:,use proper,connecting,words,phrases and,even sentences to connect the context,making,the writing cohesive in meaning.,1.,Clear&Clean:,handwriting is clear and clean.,书写整洁,信息完整,表达正确,语言丰富,语意连贯,Dear Sir or Madam,My name is,Li,Hua,.I would like to work as,a volunteer,for,the 2008 Olympics,.,Im a boy and Im,18.,I was,born in Beijing,.Im,a middle school student,.I want to do something for the 2008 Olympics.Im good at,English.,I like,sports,.Im good at,communicating with others,.I like helping others.Im,familiar with Beijing,.It is important for the work.,If you give me the chance,Ill try my best to,offer the best service,to others.Please accept my application.I wont disappoint you!,Looking forward to your reply.,Yours faithfully,Li,Hua,Dear Sir or Madam,My name is Li,Hua,.I would like to work as a volunteer for the 2008 Olympics.,Im,a boy and,Im,18.,I was,born in Beijing.,Im,a middle school student.I want to do something for the 2008 Olympics.Im good at English.I like sports.Im good at communicating with others.I like helping others.Im familiar with Beijing.It is important for the work.,If you give me the chance,Ill try my best to offer the best service to others.Please accept my application.I wont disappoint you!,Looking forward to your reply.,Yours faithfully,Li,Hua,Dear Sir or Madam,My name is Li,Hua,.I would like to work as a volunteer for the 2008 Olympics.,Im a boy and Im 18.I was born in Beijing.Im a middle school student.,I,want to do something for the 2008 Olympics.,I,m good at English.,I,like sports.,I,m good at communicating with others.,I,like helping others.,I,m familiar with Beijing.It is important for the work.,If you give me the chance,I,ll try my best to offer the best service to others.Please accept my application.,I,wont disappoint you!,Looking forward to your reply.,Yours faithfully,Li,Hua,Dear Sir or Madam,My name is Li,Hua,.I would like to work as a volunteer for the 2008 Olympics.,Im a boy,and,Im 18.I was born in Beijing.Im a middle school student.,I,want to do something for the 2008 Olympics.,Im good at,English.,I,like,sports.,Im good at,communicating with others.,I,like,helping others.,I,m familiar with Beijing.It is important for the work.,If you give me the chance,I,ll try my best to offer the best service to others.Please accept my application.,I,wont disappoint you!,Looking forward to your reply.,Yours faithfully,Li,Hua,The same subject“,I,”,Simple words,Simple sentences,No transitions,（过渡连接词）,Problems&Ways to improve,Use different sentences(,使用多样句型,),Change the subject(,改变主语,),Use proper transitions(,使用过渡连接,),Choose advanced phrases(,选取高级词汇,),.Change the subject(,改变主语,),：,1.Ill offer the best service to others.,_ is my goal.,(-,ing,分词作主语,),It is my goal to_.,(,(,用,it,形式主语,),2.I like helping others.,_ is what I like most.,(-,ing,分词作主语等,),_my favorite to _.,(,用,it,形式主语,),Offering the best service to others,offer the best service to others,Helping others,It is help others.,.Choose advanced phrases(,选取高级词汇,),be,of great importance,be ready to/be willing to,Word,Phrase,I like helping others.,2.I like sports.,3.This is important for the work.,be fond of/be interested in/,have great interest in,.Choose advanced phrases(,选取高级词汇,),Simple phrase,Advanced phrase,Im good at English.,2.I want to do something for the Olympics.,3.Ill try my best to offer the best service.,be fluent in/have a good knowledge of,make a contribution to/contribute to,spare no effort /make every effort,.,Use different sentences(,使
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