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Unit 1 Coping with the,Compliment,U1,Additional Information for the Teachers Reference,Text Coping with the Compliment,Warm-up Activities,Further Reading,Writing Skills,Additional Work,Warm-up Activities,Warm-up,1,Have you ever received any compliment? How do you respond to it?,Do you know how Chinese people usually cope with compliments? How are the Chinese reactions to compliments different from Americans?,1.,2.,Warm-up,2,3. Do you know the top nine expressions for compliment in the English-speaking countries? And how do you respond to them?,The top nine expressions for compliment are:,1) Your blouse is really beautiful. Your hair looks great!,2) I really like your dress. I love your new apartment.,3) Thats a really nice rug. Thats a great looking car.,4) You have such beautiful hair.,5) What a lovely baby you have!,6) Isnt your ring beautiful!,7) You (really) did a good job!,8) You (really) handled that situation well!,9) Nice game!,Warm-up,3,A: Thats a nice shirt you are wearing!,B: Well, I just got it. It was pretty cheap.,A: You did an excellent job yesterday, Jim! I really enjoyed,your presentation.,B: Do you really think so?,A: Oh, yeah, it was fabulous.,A: I love your clock. It looks great in your living room!,B: Thanks. A friend of mine brought it to me from Oregon.,A: Youre looking well!,B: Thanks. So are you!,Responses to compliments are:,1),2),3),4),Harry Allen Smith (1906 - 1976) was a well-known journalist, author and humorist. He was born on December 19, 1907 in McLeansboro, Illinois and commenced his career as a newspaper reporter in 1922. He authorized his first book a commissioned biography of industrialist Robert Gair in 1939 at the age of thirty-two, thus commencing his career as a full-time writer. His next attempt, a book entitled,Low Man on a Totem Pole, published in 1941, became a best seller and established Smiths fame as a humorist. The majority of his books were published during the 1940s, 50s and 60s and he was for many years the best-selling humorist author in the United States.,AIFTTR1,Additional Information for the Teachers Reference,1. Harry Allen Smith,AIFTTR2,Greta Garbo (1905 - 1990) was a Swedish-American film actress, born Greta Louisa Gustafsson in Stockholm, Sweden on September 18, 1905. While in school, she was discovered by Maurice Stiller, one of the great directors of Swedens golden age of film and went with Stiller to Hollywood. She became a talented actress known for her aura of glamour and mystery. Her 24 films include,Anna Christie,(1930),Camille,(1937),Ninotchka,(1939). In 1954 the Academy awarded her with an award “for her unforgettable screen performances.” She retired at the height of her career in 1941. This, paired with her aloof,2. Greta Garbo,mysteriousness, made the public crave to know more about her. Although seldom in the public eye she remained in the publics mind a woman of beauty and mystery, a legend.,3. Dorothy Parker,Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967) was one of the most successful and influential women writers of her era. Dorothy Rothschild was born on August 22, 1893 in West End, N.J. At the age of 21 she began submitting her writing to various magazines and papers. Her poem was accepted and published by,Vanity Fair,and a few months later she was hired by,Vogue,AIFTTR,a sister publication of,Vanity Fair,. In 1917 she married Edwin Parker, a stock broker. The marriage only lasted a brief time, but now she was Mrs. Dorothy Parker. At,Vanity Fair,she became New Yorks only female drama critic at the time. She continued to write short stories, satirical verses and newspaper columns and became a celebrated conversationalist. Her tone is poignant, ironical and often cruelly witty and cynical. Her works include,After Such Pleasures,(1933),The Lady Next Door,(1924) and,Business is Business,(1925).,AIFTTR4,4. George S. Kaufman,George S. Kaufman (1889 - 1961) was an American novelist, playwright, director, producer, and drama critic, whose work, critical, theoretical, fictional, mixes professionalism with intelligence. Among his works are,Beggar,on Horseback,(1924),You Cant Take It With You,(1936) and,The King of Proxy Street,(1941).,Kaufman was also a noted director of many of his own plays as well as those of other writers, and his drama criticism was known for its wit. Of one comedy he wrote There was laughter at the back of the theatre, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.”,AIFTTR5-6,Paradox is a statement which seems to be foolish or opposite to common sense or the truth, but which may contain a truth. For example, more haste, less speed.,5. paradox,This statement derives from a well-known saying “Flattery will get you nowhere” but expresses the opposite value or philosophy. “Flattery will get you nowhere” means mere flattery is of no use while “Flattery will get you everywhere” implies flattery is always welcome.,6. Flattery will get you everywhere,AIFTTR7,7. assembly line,Assembly line is a group of work areas, called stations, arranged in a certain order to make a product. Each station performs a given task on a unit of a product such as inserting, tightening, or inspecting a part and then passes it to the next station. When a unit reaches the end of the line, it has passed all the stations and has become a finished product. Each station consists of the machines, workers, tools, and parts required to do its assigned task.,8. sonnet,Sonnet is a 14-line poem with a fixed pattern of meter and rhyme. Its name is an Italian word meaning a little song. In the Italian sonnet, the octave (first eight lines) states a theme or experience and the sestet (final six lines) responds to or comments on the theme. The octave rhyme scheme is abbaabba (lines one, four, five, and eight rhyme; and lines two, three, six, and seven rhyme). The sestet rhyme scheme is often cdecde.,For example:,On His Blindness,John Milton,When I consider how my light is spent,Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,And that one talent which is death to hide,Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent,To serve therewith my Maker, and present,My true account, lest He, returning, chide,“Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”,I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent,That murmur, soon replies, “God doth not need,Either mans work or his own gift. Who best,Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state,Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,And post oer land and ocean without rest;,They also serve who only stand and wait.”,But The English sonnet, also called the Shakespearean sonnet, has a rhyme scheme of abab cdcd efef gg.,For example:,Sonnet 130,William Shakespeare,My mistress eyes are nothing like the sun ,Coral is far more red than her lips red ,If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun ,If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head：,I have seen roses damasked, red and white,But no such roses see I in her cheeks,And in some perfumes is there more delight,Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.,I love to hear her speak, yet well I know,That music hath a far more pleasing sound.,I grant I never saw a goddess go;,My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.,And yet by heaven I think my love as rare,As any she belied with false compare.,Text,Coping with the Compliment,Notes,Introduction to the Author and the Article,Phrases and Expressions,Exercises,Main Idea of the Text,MIOTT1,Main Idea of the Text,In the text, Harry Allen Smith offers some ideas about how to deal with compliments. By his own experiences when receiving a compliment, he asserts that in social intercourse a compliment is much harder to respond to than an insult. In searching for a technique to cope with compliments, he turns to children and the Spanish-speaking people who are said to be the most conversationally adroit on earth, but they are of no help. Finally he concludes that poise is the basis of all graceful social intercourse. So the only sensible response to a compliment is: Thank You.,Introduction to the Author and the article,Introduction to the Author and the Article,H. Allen Smith (1906 - 1976) was a well-known journalist, author and humorist. He authored his first book in 1939 at the age of thirty-two, thus commencing his career as a full-time writer. The majority of his books were published during the 1940s, 50s and 60s and he was for many years the best selling humorist author in the United States.,Introduction to the Author and the article2,This essay is chosen from,The Essays for Modern Youth,. In this essay, the author offers some ideas as to how to deal with compliments. Traditionally in Western culture, modesty was also considered a valuable personal attribute. However, in the last 20 - 30 years there has been a move away from this kind of reserve. With the rise of the womens movement, women especially have become more inclined to accept compliments with grace rather than deny them. The general feeling is if positive recognition is given in the form of a compliment, that is the subjective opinion of another person and thus should be appreciated as a reflection of their similar good taste.,Part2_T1,I have never cultivated a mustache,though Im sure one would enhance my distinguished looks,and cause women to giggle as I passed along the boulevard. The reason is I cant risk it, because even a little mustache is a dangerous thing.,It invites compliments.,If a lady came up to me, for example, and said, “You have the most charming mustache,” I wouldnt know how to respond.,I might be thrown into such a panic that Id,blurt out,“I like yours, too.”,H. Allen Smith,Coping with,the Compliment,Text,Part2_T2,It is one of the paradoxes of social intercourse that a compliment is much harder to respond to than an insult.,Here is an area of small talk where most of us act awkwardly.,Someone utters a pleasing, praiseful remark in our direction,and we grow,inarticulate,and our kneecaps begin to vibrate.,I cant even accept with grace a compliment,bestowed upon me for,a thing that isnt really mine. I live on a hill overlooking a wide valley. Visitors exclaim: “My! What a terrific view you have here!” There it lies out there, the whole valley.,I didnt do it.,It doesnt belong to me. Yet I respond with a sickly smile, “Oh, it isnt much just a lot of old real estate.”,Part2_T3,The nearest I ever came to,downright,acceptance of this particular compliment was the time I said, “Well, we like it.”,This is a response that should be used with caution. To say of a thing, “Well, we like it.” is to imply that a lot of other people think it disgusting. Not long ago I was in a group where a geophysicist from Australia was talking eloquently about the wonders of the universe. “This earth we live on,” he said, “this great, vibrant, spinning earth, is a collection of incredible marvels.” There was a long pause, and then,carried away,by the vastness of his complimentary remark,a woman said, “Well, we like it.”,Part2_T4,I think we make a mistake when we react to a compliment with denial and derogation.,“What a stunning gown!” your friend says. “Oh, this old rag!” you respond. The situation here is much the same as the one regarding my view. You have no right to feel ashamed or angry over praise directed at your gown unless it happens that you stitched it up yourself. You would be,better off,if youd just say something like, “I had to fist-fight another woman in Macys basement to,get possession of,it.” Or better yet, “My husband picked it out for me.”,Part2_T5,I know a man who has,put his mind to,this problem and,come up with,a technique for,brushing off,praise.,He employs a sort of unreasonable realism.,One evening I overheard a woman say to him, “What powerful shoulders you have!” Without blinking an eye, he answered, “Three-fourths water. My body is three-fourths water, therefore my shoulders are three-fourths water and anything thats three-fourths water couldnt actually be very powerful.” The well-intentioned woman went away with a furrowed brow and whispering to herself.,I dont think this fellow is,on the right track,.,Part2_T6,Many of us try to turn a compliment with a quip. “Ive been hearing about you for years,” someone says glowingly. “Nothing good, I hope,” is the standard reply.,This sort of thing, the witty reply, ought to be placed under government regulation.,Maybe Im,appalled,by it for the reason that Im so,inept at,it myself. Recently I heard a young man tell a girl that she possessed the same ethereal beauty as Greta Garbo. “Flattery will get you everywhere,” she responded.,That one, I thought, was more than passable.,But for every genuinely clever retort there are a thousand that,fall flat,.,It takes a Dorothy Parker or a George S. Kaufman to handle the quip comeback with skill.,Part2_T7,Artists and authors face a special problem. When a new automobile comes off the assembly line, the people responsible for it can call in outsiders, point to the product, swell out their chests and say, “Isnt she a beauty?” Not so a man who paints a picture or writes a book or composes a symphony. “That last sonnet of yours, Ploffer,” says the poets friend, “that was a jim-dandy job, and it rhymed good.” Ploffer, in his poetic heart, is in full agreement with this verdict but he cant say so. “Oh, really now,” he protests, “you know very well that the cadence,fell apart,in the sestet.”,Part2_T8,Being the author of a stack of books, I have on occasion been exposed to this situation. “That new book of yours,” someone may say, “I found it very entertaining.” It seems to me that I should be permitted to reply, “Well, Im glad somebody liked it ,I worked like a dog to get it written.,” Or, “I thought it was good, too.” But no.,The unwritten code of authorhood,compels me to say, in effect, “You must be a person of,execrable,literary judgement.”,In searching for a technique to cope with compliments, I have turned to children. The very young are of no help. Say to one of them, “My, what a fine little boy you are!” What does he do? He races around the room, rolls his eyes in an alarming way and rams his tongue out of the side of his mouth. I could do that sort of thing but I dont think it would be accepted socially. Or try a compliment on a little girl. “What a pretty dress!” you exclaim. Instantly she pulls it up to point out that her petticoat is even prettier, and then she pulls the petticoat to show you that her panties even the prettiest of all. This sort of procedure would hardly work in adult society.,Part2_T9,Part2_T10,I thought for a while I might learn something from the Spanish-speaking people, the most conversationally,adroit,people on earth. Say to one of them, “This is the most beautiful house Ive ever been in,” and he responds, “It is made immeasurably more beautiful by your lovely presence.” You are left standing there,with immeasurably lovely egg on your face.,There is no point in trying to play the game back at them theyll top you in the end, no matter what.,One thing is clear:,at the bottom of all graceful social intercourse lies,poise,.,Eliza W. Farrar, who wrote one of Americas earliest books on,etiquette, illustrated the importance of poise when she told of an elegant New England dinner party at which the host was carving a goose. The bird got away from him, shot out of the dish and landed in the lap of,a lady of quality,.,Given the same circumstances I would have quietly asked for a coil of rope.,This host, however, had poise.,He said, with superb calmness and gravity, “Madam, I will thank you for that goose.”,If we could all,comport,ourselves with that kind of dignity, and quit jittering, our social life would be much more enjoyable.,Part2_T11,Part2_T12,We may acquire a bit more poise if we keep one thing in mind: whenever a person pays you a compliment,the chances are,hes just making conversation.,The only sensible response consists of eight little letters arranged neatly into two little words: Thank you.,My!:,an exclamation used to express surprise or pleasure,Macys:,the name of an American store, which usually sells expensive clothing,Greta Garbo (19051990):,Swedish-American film actress. She was a talented actress known for her aura of glamour and mystery. Her 24 films include,Anna Christie,(1930),Camille,(1937) and,Ninotchka,(1939). She retired in 1941, and was given an Academy Award in 1954.,Notes,Part2_TA_Notes1,Part2_,TA_Notes2,Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967):,American writer, critic and wit. She wrote short stories, satirical verse and newspaper columns and was a celebrated conversationalist. Her tone is poignant, ironical and often cruelly witty and cynical. Her works include,After Such Pleasures,(1933),The Lady Next,Door,(1924) and,Business Is Business,(1925).,George S. Kaufman (1889 - 1961):,American novelist, playwright and critic, whose work, critical, theatrical, fictional, mixes professionalism with intelligence. Among his works are,Beggar on Horseback,(1924),You Cant Take It with You,(1936) and,The King of Proxy Street,(1941).,with immeasurably lovely egg on your face:,with you feeling extremely embarrassed,bestow sth. upon (on) sb.,carry sb. away (usu. passive),stitch sth. up,well off,get possession of,put ones mind to sth.,come up with,Phrases and Expressions,Part2_TA_ Phrases and Expressions1,present sth. as a gift to sb.,cause sb. to lose self-control or be very excited,join together or close sth. by stitching,well off in a very good position, esp. financially,become the owner or occupier of (sth.),give all ones attention to (achieving) sth.,find or produce (an answer, a solution, etc.),brush sth. off,on the right track,be inept at doing sth.,fall flat,fall apart,work like a dog,the chances are (that),Part2_TA_ Phrases and Expressions2,remove sth. with a brush; ignore sth.,thinking or acting in a correct way,be completely unskillful at doing sth.,(of a joke, story, performance, etc.) fail completely to produce the effect intended or expected,break; fall to pieces,work very hard,it is likely that,Phrases and Expressions,如何应对恭维,Part2_TA_t1,尽管我确信蓄胡子会使我更加气度不凡，走在大街上会使女性发笑，但我从不留胡子，原因是我不敢冒险，因为哪怕蓄一点点胡子也很危险，它会招来别人的恭维。例如，如果一位女士走到我跟前，说道：“你的胡子最迷人，”我会无所适从，不知怎样回答才好。我可能会惊慌得脱口而出：“我也喜欢您的胡子。”,在社会交往中，应对恭维比对付辱骂要艰难得多，这话听起来有点矛盾，却有一定的道理。闲聊时来句恭维话，往往让我们大多数人不知所措。例如，有人对我们说上一句动听、赞美的话，我们就慌得说不出话来，膝盖开始瑟瑟发抖。,Translation of the Text,H艾伦史密斯,Part2_TA_t2,如果别人称赞不是真正属于我自己的东西时，我根本无法欣然接受。我家住在一个小山上，俯瞰山下一片宽广的谷地。来访者惊叹道：“天哪！你这儿的景色太美了！”整个山谷原本就在那里，不是我造的，也,不属于我。然而我傻乎乎地笑着说：“噢，没什么无非是过去留下的一片土地而已。”,我在接受这种特定的恭维时，表示最能完全接受的说法就是“嗯，我们喜欢。”采用这种答话必须得小心谨慎。就某样东西说“我们喜欢”，言外之意就是，还有许多其他人都认为它很令人讨厌。不久前，我和一批人在一起时，其中有位来自澳大利亚的地球物理学家在滔滔不绝地谈论宇宙中的奇观。“我们生活的这个地球，”他说道，“是个了不起的、生机勃勃的、旋转的行星，是由一些不可思议的奇观组合而成。”随后便是长时间的停顿。这时，一位被他的这种极度夸张的恭维话所吸引的妇女，禁不住说道：“嗯，我们喜欢这个地球。”,Part2_TA_t3,我认为，对待恭维采取否定和贬低的态度是错误的。“多漂亮的礼服啊！”你的朋友赞美道。“噢，这么破的旧衣服！”你回答道。这种情景，与我上述提出的观点非常相似。别人赞美你的礼服，你无权为此感到羞愧或恼怒除非这件礼服恰好是你自己亲手缝制的。如果你这么说，“我是在麦茜商场的地下室和另一个妇女经过一番争抢才买下来的，”你可能会感觉更好些。或者说“是我丈夫特为我挑选的”，这样,还要好。,我认识一个潜心研究这种问题的人，他想出了一个办法来避开别人的表扬。他采取了一种不近情理的现实态度。一天夜里我无意中听到一位妇女对他说，“你的肩膀真有力啊！”他眼睛眨也没眨就回答道：“四分之三的水。我的身体有四分之三是水，所以我的肩膀有四分之三是水。任何有四分之三是水的东西实际上是不可能有力的。”这位好心的妇女低声嘀咕着，皱着眉头走开了。我想这个家伙回答的方式有问题。,Part2_TA_t4,我们当中有许多人试图用俏皮话来应对恭维。例如，有人热情洋溢地说道，“久闻您的大名。” “我想，不是什么好名声吧，”这是标准的回答。这种俏皮机智的应答，应该置于政府的规定之中。它也许会让我惊骇不已，因为我本人很不善于说俏皮话。最近我听到一位年轻人赞美一个女孩，说她像明星葛丽泰嘉宝一样，美若天仙。“奉承让你走遍天下，”她回答道。我想，这个回答相当不错。但是，在千百次的应对中才会有一句真正巧妙的应答。只有像多萝西帕克或乔治考夫曼这样的人才能应对自如。,艺术家和作家面临着一个特殊的问题。当一辆新车下线时，负责人可以把外界人士请进来，指着车子，挺着胸脯说，“难道她不漂亮吗？”而绘画的人、写书的人或作曲的人却不能这样做。诗人普洛弗的朋友赞叹说，“普洛弗，你上次写的那首十四行诗，妙极了，非常押韵。”其实，普洛弗内心完全同意朋友的评价，但他嘴上却不能这样说。“噢，其实，”他反对道，“你很清楚，最后六行不大押韵。”,Part2_TA_t5,作为写了一摞书的作者，我有时也面临着这种情形。有人会说，“你的那本新书，我觉得很有趣。”我似乎应该可以回答，“啊，有人喜欢它，我很高兴我当时写得好苦啊。”或者这样回答，“我也认为这本书写得很好。”可是，我不能这样说。实际上，著书人的一条不成文的规定使我不得不这样说， “你这个人，文学鉴赏水平一定很差劲。”,为寻找应对恭维的技巧，我还求助过孩子们。太小的孩子根本帮不了忙。例如，对一个小男孩说，“啊，你好可爱噢！”他怎么反应？他会满屋子跑
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