2018广东一模英语作文优秀范文

2018 广东一模英语作文优秀范文 试题回顾 假如你是李华 上周日在地铁站捡到了英国人 Steven 的护照 请你用英语给你市某英文报社编辑写一封信 内容 包括 1 简述事件过程 2 交代护照相关信息 3 委托报社刊登招领启事 注意 1 词数 100 左右 2 可以适当增加细节 以使行文连贯 官方范文 Dear editor I m writing to tell you a piece of urgent information I picked up a passport last Sunday in the subway station when I was taking a ride home There was nobody around when I found it on a waiting bench The owner of it is Steven who comes from England I think he must be feeling anxious about the passport but I have no idea how to return it to him So I need your help I wish you could post a notice on your newspaper to tell him about the missing passport so that he can get it back I would appreciate it if you could do me the favour I m looking forward to your reply Yours Li Hua 考生优秀范文 1 2 3 4 5 2018 广州一模英语作文优秀范文 一 试题回顾 假定你是李华 收到英国朋友 Alice 的邮件 以下是邮件内容 Dear Li Hua How are you doing these days I m having some problems and would like to get your advice My parents want me to spend my summer with them this year but I would prefer to go somewhere with my friends I love my parents but sometimes they are overprotective I feel that I am old enough and responsible enough to go away without their supervision 监护 Any suggestions you could give me about this issue would be greatly appreciated Yours Alice 请给 Alice 回一封邮件 内容包括 1 感谢她的信任 2 回应她的请求 3 说明你的理由 注意 1 词数 100 左右 2 可以适当增加细节 以使行文连贯 二 官方范文 范文 1 Dear Alice I can feel from your email that this issue with your parents is greatly affecting you and really appreciate that you trust me enough to want my advice Coincidentally I met a similar situation last summer Initially like you I really didn t want to go travelling with my parents But then I thought of things from their point of view I go to university next year so for them this may have been the last time we d all travel together as a family I understood that rather than trying to control me they just wanted to spend more time with me so I chose to go and we had a fantastic time together I think you shouldn t be in such a hurry to grow up Treasure the time you have with your parents now as neither you nor they will be around forever I hope my own experience helps you and that you find a solution Yours Li Hua 范文 2 Dear Alice I m flattered to know you have such confidence in my opinions that you would write to me for advice but more importantly I m sorry to read that you re having this problem with your parents I think that you should explain to your parents that you are mature enough to travel without their supervision It s natural for parents to worry so why don t you show them where you plan to go who you re going with and where you will stay It might also help if you introduce your friends to reassure them Finally provide them with the contact details so they can get in touch with you Parents often resist their children growing up It s up to you to gently show them it is time to loosen the strings I hope this advice will be useful to you and good luck with your decision Yours Li Hua 三 考生分档样卷点评 Sample 1 Band 5 评价 语言表达清晰准确 读者意识强 能先从同龄人角度表达对对方问题的理解 引出自己观点 观点层层 推进 句子间行文逻辑性强 有效使用语篇衔接手段 实现写作目的 优秀的作文应该是先表达同理心 添加细 节的方式应该基于主题的添加方式 紧扣主题语境 参考得分 23 24 Sample 2 Band 5 评论 整体篇章结构清晰 语言比较丰富 结构和用词丰富性好 语言连贯性较前一篇弱 陈述观点时 未能 将观点与例子建立紧密的逻辑联系 显得说服力不够 参考得分 20 21 Sample 3 Band 5 评论 观点清晰 逻辑清晰 句式丰富 能呼应来信的问题用分析法帮助解决一个个问题 建议通过添加必要 的细节进一步增强读者意识 突出交际功能 参考得分 22 23 Sample 5 Band 4 评价 篇章结构不清晰 段落功能不明确 语言功底有五档作文的潜质 但陈述观点时 生硬地把观点拼凑一 起 没有逻辑主线 各段落之间 段落内句子之间均没有清晰的逻辑 参考得分 16 17 Sample 6 Band 4 评价 语言功底尚可 能尝试使用丰富的句式和较高级的语言结构如非谓语动词 定语从句等 表意比较准确 但逻辑不够清晰 未明确给予具体建议 没有表达自己观点 没有达到写作目的 参考得分 17 18 Sample 7 Band 3 评价 语言驾驭能力较差语言错误较多 特别是句子结构典型错误太多 影响了语意的表达 内容空洞 观点 比较重复 未能达到交际目的 参考得分 13 14 Sample 8 Band 2 3 评价 基础语言错误太多 内容单薄 观点重复 空洞 卷面欠佳 参考得分 10 11 Sample 9 Band 2 评价 生硬地套用句式 除了抄原文的句子外基本没有正确的句子 谓语不完整 内容不完整 未能完成写作 任务 参考得分 8 9