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单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,作文：,下面是,Han,Mei,的日常活动时间表，根据表格中提供的信息，完成,Han,Mei,写给她的美国朋友,Lily,的信，不少于,80,个词。,6:00,get up,6:45-7:50,learn by oneself,8:05-11:45,have classes,11:45-12:30,lunch,13:20-17:00,have classes,18:00-19:00,supper,19:00-23:00,homework,关于初稿评改,体裁,内容,人称,时态,修改建议,1,：,请从,审题基本要素,方面检查你的文章是否符合题意！,Dear Jane,Its Tuesday,November 11.Im really busy!At 8:00 I have math.I dont like math.Then at 9:00 I have science.Its difficult,but interesting.Next,at 10:00,I have art.Its boring,but at 11:00 I have P.E.Thats my favorite subject!I eat lunch at 12:00.after lunch,I have music.Music is relaxing.I like my music teacher,Mr,Cooper.Hes fun.My last class is at 2:00.After class I have volleyball for two hours.Our teacher is very strict and Im usually very tired after class.Then I have Chinese history club.Its really interesting!,Love,Lin,Mei,请你谈谈此文章哪些方面值得我们学习！,next,then,After,修改建议,2,：,请在你的文章中用上这些表示时间顺序的词，使你的文章更加有整体感！,检验仿写,Words or phrases,for order,first,later,At last,In the end,At 8:00 I have math.,修改建议,3,：,请查看你的文章中这些基础表达是否正确！,如何表达：,6:457:50,learn by oneself?,I learn by myself,from,6:45,to,7:50.,6:00,Get up,6:45-7:50,Learn by oneself,8:05-11:45,Have classes,11:45-12:30,Lunch,13:20-17:00,Have classes,18:00-19:00,Supper,19:00-23:00,homework,Is it a good choice for us to use“fromto”,for 6 times in an article?,推敲琢磨,Expressions instead of,“Fromto,（时间）”,starts atand ends at,lasts for,There are hours for us to,do,sth,.until,修改建议,4,：,请你在仔细琢磨的基础上,选择更多的表达来代替,fromto,来实现句式多样化。,8:05-11:45,Have classes,教师建议：,图表类作文，须分析图表，归纳主题。,6:00,Get up,6:45-7:50,Learn by oneself,8:05-11:45,Have classes,11:45-12:30,Lunch,13:20-17:00,Have classes,18:00-19:00,Supper,19:00-23:00,homework,very busy,Dear Jane,Its Tuesday,November 11.Im really busy!At 8:00 I have math.I dont like math.Then at 9:00 I have science.Its difficult,but interesting.Next,at 10:00,I have art.Its boring,but at 11:00 I have P.E.Thats my favorite subject!I eat lunch at 12:00.after lunch,I have music.Music is relaxing.I like my music teacher,Mr,Cooper.Hes fun.My last class is at 2:00.After class I have volleyball for two hours.Our teacher is very strict and Im usually very tired after class.Then I have Chinese history club.Its really interesting!,Love,Lin,Mei,你觉得它是一篇难得的佳作吗？为什么？,思考：我们应该通过哪些手段为我们的中心,”,busy day”,服务呢？,6:00,Get up,6:45-7:50,Learn by oneself,8:05-11:45,Have classes,11:45-12:30,Lunch,13:20-17:00,Have classes,18:00-19:00,Supper,19:00-23:00,homework,1.After lunch,I have a rest.,2.After lunch,I have a,very short,rest which,lasts for,only,50 minutes.,修改建议,5,：,增加一些能突显中心的词或句子，加个比喻句也是个不错的选择。,教师建议：,A beautiful article usually looks like a delicious hamburger,。,修改建议,6,：,请使用总起句和总结句使文章首尾呼应。,提示：总结应该是总起的另一种表达方式。,请小组互改，取长补短,要求：,4,人一组，结合本节课老师的修改建议，在语法和内容的角度上进行互改、互学，并推荐小组佳作供班级共赏。,
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