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Section,Writing,读 后 续 写,典题示例,阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写词数应为,150,左右。,Two men,both seriously ill,occupied the same hospital room.One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help empty the liquid from his lungs.His bed was next to the room,s only window.The other man had to spend all his time on his back.,The men talked for hours on end.They spoke of their wives and families,their homes,their jobs,their involvement in the military,service.Every,afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up,he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened by all the activity and colour of the world outside.,The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.Ducks played on the water while children sailed their model boats.Young lovers walked arm in arm among flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.As the man by the window described all this in detail,the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the beautiful scene.,One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.Although the other man couldn,t hear the bandhe could see it.In his mind,s eye as the gentleman by the window described it excitedly.,Unexpectedly,a strange thought entered his head:Why should he have all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything?It didn,t seem fair.As the thought appeared the man felt ashamed at first.But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights,his envy turned him sour and he found himself unable to sleep.He should be by that windowthat thought now controlled his life.,Late,one,night,as,he,lay,staring,at,the,ceiling,the,man,by,the,window,began,to,cough.,He,struggled,to,look,out,of,the,window,beside,the,bed.Much,to,his,surprise,it,faced,a,blank,wall.,写 作 指 导,通读短文可知,故事发生在一所医院的病房里,主要人物是两位病人。,1.,理解全文,把握主线,通读短文可知,本文大意是,:,在一家医院的病房里住着两位病人。其中一位病人经允许可以在每天下午起身坐上一个小时。这位病人的病床靠近窗户,而另一位病人则不得不日夜躺在床上。躺在窗边的病人每天向另一位病人描述他看到的窗外的风景和故事。可是有一天听故事的病人开始产生嫉妒心理,希望自己能够有机会看看窗外。,2.,分析关键词和所给段落首句,展开想象合理续写,续写第一段首句是,:,一天深夜,当他躺在床上盯着天花板的时候,靠窗户的那个人开始咳嗽起来。根据本句及前文所述,可预测本段应该写靠窗户病人的病情十分危急,这位心生嫉妒的病人的做法以及由此产生的后果。由于续写第二段开头提及他看到了窗外的真实景象,因此,本段最后要提到病友去世,他要求移到窗边病床上。,续写第二段首句是,:,他挣扎着看向床边的窗户外,令他吃惊的是,窗外只是一堵空墙。由此可知,这让他意识到,病友所描述的一切都来自想象。因此,本段应当主要写病友为他编织了一幅美丽的画面,鼓励他,让他能够更积极地面对病情,以及得知真相后他复杂的心理感受。,高 分 范 文,Late,one,night,as,he,lay,staring,at,the,ceiling,the,man,by,the,window,began,to,cough.,He watched in the room as the struggling man by the window searched blindly for the button to call for help.However,listening from across the room,he never moved.The following morning the nurse found the lifeless body of the man by the window.The other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.The nurse was happy to make the switch.,He,struggled,to,look,out,of,the,window,beside,the,bed.Much,to,his,surprise,it,faced,a,blank,wall.,At that moment,he seemed to understand everything,but he could not say it,just regretting that he had not moved when his companion was suffering from illness.He felt ashamed.His companion had made white lies every day just to encourage him.A feeling of regret,of gratitude,rose at the moment.,名师点评,习作紧扣语境,承接前文内容进行了合理的续写,符合人物的特点和逻辑。第一段顺承前文内容,通过,watch,search,listen,move,等动作描写刻画了人物形象,其中,“listening from across the room,he never moved”,与前文,“But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights,his envy turned him sour and he found himself unable to sleep.”,相呼应。本段最后两句也是情节发展的必然,与下文第二段首句环环相扣,使,整篇习作浑然一体。第二段续写内容通过,seem,understand,regret,encourage,rise,等一系列动词的使用,形象地描述了这位病人深感愧疚的心理活动。此外,习作中运用了较多的高级词汇与句式,如,suffer from,feel ashamed,make white lies,but,引导的并列句,现在分词短语,just regretting that he had not moved,等,丰富的语言表达形式增强了文章的感染力,使续写的情节更加吸引人。,高 分 典 句,1.,夜空中星星向我眨眼睛。,Stars winked at me in the darkening sky.,2.,她接着说,“,我紧紧地拥抱着他们,感觉到自己内心突然有了一种力量,”,。,She continued,“I hugged them tightly,feeling a sudden strength inside me,.”,3.,这位妇女热切地看着这个女孩,想和她说话。,The woman was staring eagerly at the girl,trying to make a conversation.,4.,看到眼前的一幕,他吓呆了,不敢动弹。,At the sight of the scene before him,he froze with terror,too scared to move an inch.,5.,树上的小鸟唱着美妙的歌曲。,Birds on the tree are singing beautiful songs.,6.,回来的时候,他,还,交叉双臂,脸上带着一,丝,愤怒,。,When coming back,he still folded his arms with a little anger on his face.,7.,一种强烈的喜悦感在我的脑海中闪过。,A strong sense of joy flashed through my mind.,8.,我伸手去摸她的脸,发现她的脸像冰一样冷。,I reached out to touch her face,which was as cold as the ice.,9.,他是如此紧张以至于能听到自己的心在狂跳。,So nervous was he that he could hear his heart beating wildly.,10.,鹅毛般的雪花在夜空中飞舞,像一幅美丽的图画。,The feathery snowflakes danced in the night air,making a beautiful picture.,即 学 即 练,阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写词数应为,150,左右。,My presentation was horrible.I lost the client.My boss wouldn,t look me in the eye and the rest of my day was spent in relative silenceI was left alone,in reality.Finally,I left my air-conditioned of
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