获奖课件读后续写：偏离路线的背后故事(2022届广东新高考摸底考)

单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,0,获奖课件读后续写：偏离路线的背后故事(2022届广东新高考摸底考),1,Not on his Route,8,月月考读后续写讲评课,Not on his Route8月月考读后续写讲评课,2,5 Rs,3 Principles,C,EASE,Read for the,_,/,_,/,_,/,_/,_,1.Action-_,2.Conflict-_,3.Negative-_,Coherence,（衔接）,Linguistic,（语言）,description:,_,_,_,_,53 C with EASE,（你的,53,很简单）,plot,emotional change,character,conflict,theme,Response,Solution,Positive,Emotion,Action,Speech,Environment,5 Rs3 PrinciplesCEASERead for,3,Step 1,Analyze the story with 5Rs,Read for the plot/emotional change/character/,conflict/,theme,Step 1Analyze the story with 5,4,Not on his route!,On a lazy Sunday morning,54-year old Winston Douglas drove his bus along a normally bustling but then quiet Ormond Street in the Peoplestown section of Atlanta.A woman using a walker was slowly crossing the street,so Douglas,a driver for the Metropolitan Alana Rapid Transit Authority(MARTA),tapped the brakes and turned the wheel to the left to go around her.,As he did so,he noticed a muscular young man in his early 20s standing shirtless on the sidewalk.That wasnt all that unusual or a late summer day in Atlanta.What was unusual was that the man was staring at the woman walking across the street.,Douglas was wondering,“,Why was he staring at the woman?,”,Within seconds,he saw the man sneak up behind the unsuspecting woman and rob her of the wallet.The woman fell on the sidewalk because of the,Not on his route!,5,wallet.The woman fell on the sidewalk because of the force from behind.Realizing what was happening,she cried,“Help!Help!”The man tried to attack her to stop her screaming.But she fought back.The two collapsed on to the road between two parked cars,and the man continued his assault.The bus passengers witnessing the attack gasped.June Jarrett thoughts she was watching a horror movie come to life.Screaming at him to stop,she said,“Youre killing her.”And he looked up at the driver and just continued to assault her.Douglas immediately stopped his bus.Quickly unbuckling his seat belt,he threw open the folding doors and jumped out.,Para.1:He grabbed a heavy four-foot-long stick from a construction site nearby.Douglas ran the few steps over to them.,Para.2:Two weeks after the assault,Douglas visited Terri at her home.,wallet.The woman fell on the,6,1&2.Read for the plot&emotional change,beginning/setting,(when,where,who,what),development/incident,Rising action,Climax,Falling action,Solution,Ending,A bus driver Douglas saw a woman crossing the street and a musculine,（肌肉的）,young man staring at her.,The man robbed the woman of the wallet and the woman fought back.,The man kept assaulting the woman.,Douglas stopped the bus and jumped out.,Para.1:He grabbed a heavy four-foot-long stick from a construction site nearby.Douglas ran the few steps over to them.,Two weeks after the assault,Douglas visited Terri at her home.,?,?,wondering,angry,determined,?,?,1&2.Read for the plot&e,7,3.Read for the Character,Winston Douglas,(a 54-year-old bus driver),A woman,slowly crossing the street with a walker,(the victim later known as Terri),a muscular young man,in his early 20s,(a robber and attacker),June Jarrett,(maybe a passenger),rob her of the wallet;assault,help the woman,visit the woman,3.Read for the CharacterW,8,4.Read for the Conflict,The bus passengers witnessing the attack,gasped(,喘气,),.,she said,“,Youre killing her.,”.and just,continued to assault her,.,He,grabbed a heavy four-foot-long stick,from a construction site nearby.Douglas,ran the few steps over to them,.,Title:,NOT ON HIS ROUTE,（路线）,Conflict 2:,Douglas,the bus driver,was not on his route later.Why?,Conflict 1:,The robber kept assaulting the woman violently and Douglas rushed to help.,Principle:,Conflict-Solution,4.Read for the ConflictTh,9,5.Read for the theme,.Douglas,immediately stopped,his bus.,Quickly unbuckling(,解开,),his seat belt,he,threw open(,突然打开,),the folding doors and,jumped out,.,Para.1:He,grabbed a heavy four-foot-long stick,from a construction site nearby.Douglas,ran,the few steps over to them.,Para.2:Two weeks after the assault,Douglas visited Terri at her home,.,Principle:,Negative-Positive,5.Read for the theme.,10,Step 2,Frame your essay with 1 C,2 given sentences,and,3 principles,Step 2 Frame your essay with 1,11,Para.1:He grabb,ed a heavy four-foot-long stick from a construction site nearby.Douglas ran the few steps over to the,m.,Douglas fought with the attacker with the stick(details),How was the young man in the end?(was arrested by the police),How was the woman?,(The woman got seriously injured;Douglas drove her to the hospital/home;the woman was called Terri),Para,.2:Two weeks after the assault,Douglas visited Terri at her home.,What was Terris response?(moved&expressing gratitude),Douglass reply,T,he ending?,Action-Response,Conflict-Solution,negative-positive,Coherence,Para.1:He grabbed a heavy fou,12,Step 3,Organize language with EASE,Linguistic description:,Emotion,Action,Speech,Environment,Step 3 Organize language with,13,1.,Douglas,hit,the attacker as hard as he could and the man,fell down,.,(,EAS,E,:successive actions+emotion+specific verbs+speech),“I couldnt have the man assaulting the innocent without being punished.”Douglas murmured.,Burning with rage,he,brought the stick down on the mans back,with all his strength,while he was not paying attention.The moment the man was about to flee,Douglas,tripped him over with a leg,.“Ohch!”the man,let out a cry and fell down,on the ground.,Para.1:He grabbed a heavy four-foot-long stick from a construction site nearby.Douglas ran the few steps over to them.,bring,the pan,down,on his head;lift the pan and,hit,his head,punch,(,猛击，殴打）,sb.in his face,be tripped up/over by,.;,stick/put his leg out and trip him over,Action-Response,1.Douglas hit the attacker as,14,2.Several passengers,came to help,and the man was arrested by the police.The woman called Terri was,badly hurt,.Douglas drove her to the hospital and she was,saved,.,(,EASE,:encouraged+successive actions;modifier),Encouraged by Douglas bravery,several passengers,came together,and,pinned the man to the sidewalk,holding him there until,the police came.The victim,a 63-year-old grandmother named Terri,lay on the road unconsciously,.,Though not on his route,Douglas,without any hesitation,drove her to a nearby hospital,where she spent a week recovering from the attack.,pin,sb.,to,the ground;,drag,sb.to the sidewalk;,hold,sb there,Action-Response,2.Several passengers came to,15,3.The woman,was grateful to,Douglas for his help.,(,EASE,:,emotion+action+speech,+specific verbs,),Surpried and moved,hardly hadTerri,struggled to stand up,with her walker when she saw Douglas.“No,you dont have to stand up.”Douglas told her.“Yes,I do.”said Terri.,Stretching out her hands and holding Douglas firmly,“Had it not been for your timely help and assistance,I could not be safe and sound now.”Terri choked,tears of gratitude rolling down her cheeks.,Para.2:Two weeks after the assault,Douglas visited Terri at her home.,stand up from the chair;stretch out her hands;hold her hands firmly,Action-Response,3.The woman was grateful to D,16,Appreciation,Appreciation,17,He grabbed a heavy four-foot-long stick from a construction site nearby.Douglas ran the few steps over to them.,“I couldnt have the man assaulting the innocent without being punished.”Douglas murmured.,Burning with rage,he brought the stick down on the mans back,with all his strength,while the man was not paying attention.The moment the man was about to flee,Douglas tripped him over with a leg.“Ohch!”the man let out a cry and fell down on the ground.Encouraged by Douglas bravery,several passengers came together and pinned the man to the sidewalk,holding him there until the police came.The victim,a 63-year-old grandmother named Terri,lay on the road unconsciously.Though not on his route,Douglas,without any hesitation,drove her to a nearby hospital,where she spent a week recovering from the attack.,Two weeks after the assault,Douglas visited Terri at her home.,Surpried and moved,hardly had Terri,struggled to stand up,with her walker when she saw Douglas.“No,you dont have to stand up.”Douglas told her.“Yes,I do.”said Terri.Stretching out her hands and holding Douglas firmly,“Had it not been for your timely assistance,I could not be safe and sound now.”Terri choked,tears of gratitude rolling down her cheeks.“I just did what anyone would have done.”Douglas replied with a big smile.As a reward,Terri treated him to an afternoon tea.,Both of them had a wonderful conversation,laughter echoing the house.,He grabbed a heavy four-fo,18,评分细则,维度,序号,评价项目,立意,1,紧扣主题、弘扬正能量,2,结尾、完整,逻辑,3,逻辑清晰、顺承上文,4,与段首句衔接合理,内容,5,适当的有效对话,6,场景描写,7,修辞手法,8,人物,塑造,外貌,9,心理,10,动作,维度,序号,评价项目,语言,11,时态正确,12,词汇准确、丰富、地道,13,有多种高级句式,14,有效使用语句连接,15,拼写、大小写、标点,16,150,词,17,书写干净、整洁、美观,7,个不：,一不增加新人物；二不增加旁支情节；三不用过多对话；四不能负能量结局；五不在文末设置悬念；六不偏高原文主题；七不违背逻辑常理,评分细则维度序号评价项目立意1紧扣主题、弘扬正能量2结尾、完,19,THANKS!,THANKS!,20,