英语小话剧--搞笑唐伯虎点秋香

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(江南四大才子结伴出游) 一女子:你们看,你们看,江南四大才子在那边哎.(look,look! here comes the four handsome boys! )(众女子兴奋观看) (四大才子摆,众女子倾倒逃散) (一女子被四人拦住,被迫跳河) 唐伯虎:想跑?你飞不出我的五指山的。(欲跳下河被拦住) (dont go ,you cant fly out of my five fingers! )祝枝山:伯虎兄,有人在看。(keep calm brother tang, someone watching ) 祝枝山:今天我们江南四大才子到这里游山玩水,难怪那些女子要疯狂了。(Today we four handsome boys here, its no wonder that those women are crazy !) 文斌:说得是,(thats true ) 文征明:各位各位,既然大家今天兴致这么好,不如来吟首诗如何? (hey,boys ,how about singing poems since we are exicted 祝枝山:哎,征明兄提议的好啊。文斌兄你先来。 That sounds great !so ,brother wenbing ,you singing first!)文斌:来呀!(OK),山下一群鹅。文征明:嘘声赶落河。 祝枝山:落河捉鹅一肚饿。 唐伯虎:吃完回家玩老婆。 三人:哎呀,对得妙呀,真是绝句!( Oh my gad ,this poem is really cool!)唐伯虎:啊哈哈 (hahahahaha)三人:真的那么好笑?!(oh,what he laughed at? and Whatso fanny!)文征明:为什么唐兄每次出游,都那么豪情奔放呢? (why brother tang can keep happy everytime when we go out?)文斌:乐而忘形,实在令人(三人)羡慕羡慕啊。(Joy but driven, really make we three envy )祝枝山:不过老实说,在江南论文章,唐兄他才高八斗,论丹青,妙笔生花,真是不折不扣的才子啊。 (but to be honest ,brother tangs article and his painting are the most famous ,he is a real talent!) 文斌:不错,最令人羡慕的就是他在音律方面也有很高的造诣。(yes,and he is also good at music )唐伯虎:那倒是,古今中外各种乐器我样样都玩得都出神入化。最近我还在研究一种西洋打击乐器,很带劲儿哦。有机会可以研究一下,大家。Thanks! There is no doubt that I can play all kids of instrument ,and recently I was studying a western instrument ,its perfect ,we can discuss someday!) 文斌:对,研究一下!no problem! 文征明:我觉得唐兄最令人羡慕之处,莫过于他的艳福啊。人人都知道,唐兄家中有八位夫人,各个都貌美如花,国色天香。做人能象唐兄这样,夫复何求啊? But I think what most envy us is his 8 beautiful wifes ,if I have the same lift,there is no regret 唐伯虎:啊哈哈 (ahahahah)祝枝山:有马子可以上啊。Look, there is a beauty !祝枝山:哎,唐兄,你看桥头上有个婀娜多姿的女子,孤孤单单的。这样好了,你就当场示范一下你的泡妞大法,让我们兄弟几个好好地学一学。 Brother tang ,look at the lonely girl ,how about you to show us how can we get a girls love !唐伯虎:这个嘛 let me see 文斌:事关大家的福利,你没问题吧?! Hey ,go ahead ,we are waiting ,do you have something trouble!唐伯虎: 义不容辞。 No,my pleasure 祝枝山:去呀。 Come on!唐伯虎: 小姐。 Hai ,miss 女子:公子何事?(一回头,竟是如花!) yes?三人:上!上!go go go 唐伯虎: 没什么,我想借小姐的肩膀搭一下,不知道可不可以? Nothing, I just want to use your shouler ,so could you give me the chance ?如花:这怎么行呢,我可是黄花大闺女啊。 Thats crazy! I am not married !唐伯虎:我知道,我只不过是想整整我的朋友而己。其实在下正是唐伯虎。 I know ,I just play a joke with my friends ,and you know what ,I am tang bo hu如花: 什么糖做的老虎,我不认识你。你再不走,我可要叫了。What? A tiger made by suger?infact I dont know you ,if you dont go ,I will shout! 唐伯虎:这样好了,我给你公子何事?意思意思。 Ok,keep calm ,how about I give you ten yuan 如花:一两银子?你当我什么,最起码十两! Ten yuan? No way ,at least one hundred yuan 唐伯虎:哇!你这德性还要十两?!干脆去抢了!wa! Look at you face ,it worth one hundred yuan ? you are really killing me ! you are a robber! 如花:不错,我就是抢!把钱拿出来! Right, I am a robber,give me your money (两人乱打) 唐伯虎:你你 you 如花:去死! To death you ! 唐伯虎:打你! Beat you!如花:捅你! Fight you !(最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中) 三人:哎?搞什么鬼啊? (赶到桥上)怎么搞的?怎么啦? Oh, what are they doing ! whats wrong!文征明:你出手也太重了吧?! You are too hard唐伯虎:他想抢钱,这个死人妖! He want to rob my money,hey,you stupid ladyboy!三人:啊?!人妖? what? ladyboy?祝枝山:我喜欢!拿着。 (祝枝山将折扇递给文斌,跳入河中)I like! 文征明:真可惜!让他抢先一步! What a pity ,he robbed first 路人:just do what I tell you 唐伯虎:are you sure this can help me !路人:thrust me !and remember, you have give all the money that you sale yourself唐伯虎:no problem!路人:you are not kidding me ?唐伯虎:dont worry ,I never cheat a fool man 路人:ok.good boy!街坊邻居们,快来啊,刚出炉的孝子大怕卖,不卖也来看一看啊! (秋香和华府婢女石榴姐出门) hay ,sister and brother ,mother and father, look look ,look look,there is a good son to sale ,if you dont buy also can have a look!石榴姐:这位小哥,一大清早就来这里卖身葬父,太不吉利了吧? Hey ,little brother , its too bad to sale yourself at the monrning ,thats unlucky 唐伯虎:我也不想啊。I know .but just sorry 秋香:我们好像在哪儿见过吧?你看起来好面善。You, I think I have see you before ,you look so familiar唐伯虎:所谓相逢曾相识,求求两位姐姐可怜可怜我吧! Really, thats doesnt matter at all ,I beg you can buy me 石榴姐:真是好惨啊!我们正好缺个下人,我看就 thats great .we just want to buy one (这时又来一个,推着木车,车上六个死人,这人还口吐鲜血,极其悲惨!) 惨人:我好惨啊,卖身葬全家!good ladys, please mercy on me ,I have to sale myself to bury all of my family 唐伯虎:不会吧?! Oh god ,I cant believe it惨人: 两位姑娘,可怜可怜我吧,我一家六口一晚上全死光了。我身染十级肺痨,半卖半送,你就买了我吧。Ladys, please buy me ,all of my family were died last night ,and I was illness ,you know how hard I am. 秋香:哎呀, 石榴,你看他可怜多了,我们就把他买回华府,好不好? Oh,thats too bad ,石榴 ,lets buy him ok!石榴姐:(哭)那就买他吧。 All right, 唐伯虎:姐姐,我先来的哎。 Hey, sister ,I come first !秋香:这不是先后到的问题嘛。 There is no wander who come first1石榴姐:对呀,人家家里死了六个,你家才死一个。我也很想帮你,可是我真的很为难啊。yes, he havelose six family ,but you just lose one ,I really want to help you ,but I cant唐伯虎:可是我也很惨啊but I also hard 石榴姐:你有什么比他更惨的,快说出来啊。So ,tell us what else can made you more hard than him唐伯虎:我我这这,你看我这几天没有剪指甲了,里面全是黑泥,难道这还不够惨吗? I iilook at my hands ,I havent wash my fingers for a long time ,and all of them are full of dirty dusty isnt hard than him?(惨人的小狗突然死去) 惨人:(痛哭)旺财旺财旺财你不能死啊,旺财,你跟了我这么多年,对我有情有义,肝胆相照,但是到了现在我连一顿饱饭都没让你吃过,我对不起你啊,旺财! You can not die ,you and me live together for so many years ,wo just like brothers, but I can not give you a full lunch, I am so sorry(唐伯虎看见一只蟑螂,喊“小心啊!”,石榴姐一退,将蟑螂踩死了。) watch out !唐伯虎:(悲痛欲绝)小强!小强你怎么了小强?小强,你不能死啊!我跟你相依为命,同甘共苦了这么多年,一直把你当亲生骨肉一样教你养你,想不到今天,白发人送黑发人!small stronger .whats wrong with you, small stronger ,you can not die ,I with you for so many years ,and I threat you as my only child ,cant believe it, today ,white hair people send off black hair peple 石榴姐:秋香姐,他们两个都这么惨,怎么办? 秋香, The tow are really hard ,and what should we do 秋香:看看再说。Lets watching on 石榴姐:噢。 ok惨人:妈的!(走到唐伯虎跟前,两人对峙)大哥,你别闹了。你看看你那么干净,进去化个妆再来吧。你看看我,烂命一条,满手烂疮,你怎么惨得过我啊? Bad ,dont play me anymore ,look at your clean face , you are not a good actor ! and look at me ,I have the skin cancer, and will die soon唐伯虎:你不要跟我比啊,我最受不了人家跟我比了! Kao ,dont compare with me ,i hate this game!惨人:跟你比又怎么样? So what!唐伯虎:你这不是在逼我吗? You said it!惨人:你能比我惨吗?yes, Can you do more things than me !(唐伯虎拾起一根棍,将自己的胳膊打断) 唐伯虎:你说你满手烂疮,我现在整条手都断了,谁比谁惨呀! How about this time ,I lose one of my leg , 惨人:你玩得太绝了吧?!you are cary!唐伯虎:你老子我今天跟你卯上了! Yes,I just decided to win you today 惨人:老子陪你玩到底!妈的,来呀!(拿棍子砸破自己的头,血流如注)想跟我玩?我连命都不要了,看你怎么跟我比!谁敢比我惨啊?!(倒地身亡) ok, Ill play with you! Bad guy ,I put my lift, and you? Hahaha,who can hard than me !唐伯虎:好小子,算你惨,我们后会有期了! Good job! You win ,ok, see you then石榴姐: 那个人死了,只有买你了! Stop, that man was die ,and Ill buy you 唐伯虎:是吗?really? 石榴姐:是呀! Yes!唐伯虎:那你再加五两。But I want to get five dollars 石榴姐:你这是坐地起价! Youre robbing me!唐伯虎:不是,我是想把这位老兄埋了。 No no no ,I just want to bury the man 石榴姐: 真是个好人,就买他吧。(拿出银子) you are really a good person ,lets buy him秋香:哎,石榴,你说买就买呀!我们得先进去问问夫人才能决定呀。你明天再来吧。 Ai .石榴,you cant do this, we have to ask for the madom ,so come here tomorrow!石榴姐:我去问。 I ask now 唐伯虎:秋香姐,辛苦你了! Sister 秋香,thank you !(秋香进门时回首对唐伯虎三笑) 唐伯虎:现在就开始挑逗我了。老娘!我得手了yes, I am so happy!
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