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2022年高考英语写作最后冲刺 训练、点评和猜题 03(含解析)手机和我们的生活越来越密切,让我们的联系变得更加方便,可有人认为手机并不利于真正的交流。校报英文版正在开展征文活动,发起对这一话题的讨论,你认为手机对人与人之间沟通的影响是利大于弊还是弊大于利?请你以“Mobile phones, good or bad for munication?”为题写篇短文向校报投稿,表达你的看法。注意:1.词数120左右; 2.短文题目已拟好,不计入总词数; 3.文中不可出现与本人相关的信息。 Mobile phones, good or bad for munication?_【思路点拨】 本文要求就手机的利弊发表看法,话题贴近日常生活,属于话题作文。对既定的话题进行讨论,考生有一定的自由发挥空间,可以畅所欲言,各抒己见。在谋篇布局时要注意文章的层次,可以从三个方面着手:1.结合题目中所给的标题,我们可以知道人们对于手机有两种不同看法:手机对于人们的交流有有利的一面是,但是也有负面的影响;2.关于人们对于手机有两种不同看法,只能选择一种来进行阐述,不可两个都讲。这个从文章的标题中的“or”就可以看出,只选其一;3.自己的看法。【参考答案】Mobile phones, good or bad for munication?The technology of mobile phones has made many things easier for people. Someone can reach us or we can call someone wherever we are. However, people are unaware of the negative effects of mobile phones on munication.Due to the convenience of mobile phones, many people have started to engage in social interaction in person less than before. In addition, mobile phone munication lacks facial expressions and body language, without which munication bees less personal. Consequently, some people get confused and nervous while talking to a person face to face because they mostly talk to people on mobile phones. They even do not know the manners of munication. As far as I am concerned, we should use mobile phones in a wise way and try to avoid depending too much on them.【范文评析】1.首段用三个句子(简单句、复合句和简单句)说明了人们对于手机的两种不同看法。第一句话“The technology of mobile phones has made many things easier for people”说出了手机给人们带来的方便,进而又用第二句话“Someone can reach us or we can call someone wherever we are”对此进行了阐述。接着用“However”话锋一转指出了“人们并没有意识到手机对于人们的交流带来的负面影响”的问题,为接下来的一段阐述打下了伏笔;2.第二段承接上文分几个层面(由于手机带来的方便,人们社会活动比以前少了;手机上交流缺乏人们的面部表情和肢体语言;经常用手机交流,会给人们带来面对面交流时的障碍(困惑和紧张;甚至连交流时的礼仪也不知道了)。关联词“In addition, Consequently, even”的使用使得文章层层推进,彰显了文章的逻辑性。“Consequently, some people get confused and nervous(get+过去分词和形容词构成高级的系表结构)while talking to a person face to face(时间状语从句的省略) because they mostly talk to people on mobile phones(原因状语从句)”似乎有点长,但体现了作者对语言的精准把握,有效的表达了丰富的信息;3.第三段用经典句型“As far as I am concerned”引出自己的看法。范文作者用一分为二的观点巧妙地说出了自己的看法:我们应该以明智的方式使用手机,尽量避免对手机过度的依赖。练习二手机是当今社会必备的一种交流工具,但是对手机的过度依赖确成了社会的一种普遍现象。请阅读下面的漫画,按要求用英文写一篇短文。要求:1.描述漫画内容;2.分析漫画所揭示的问题; 3.提出你的看法。注意:1.考生可适当发挥,使文章内容充实、连贯; 2.词数150左右;3.文中不能出现考生的具体信息。【思路点拨】 本文属于看图作文,看图作文要求考生将画面所包含的有效信息直接运用英语思维转换成英语语言文字,再根据这些要点谋篇布局。要求考生把看到的图画用文字表达出来,除了能表达清楚图画中的信息外,考生还需要根据词数要求,适当拓展并发挥想象,从而使文章的叙述不单调。漫画所反应的是现在人们过度使用手机的话题。要求分析漫画内容,分析问题,提出看法。同时也属于议论文,所以使用第三人称和一般现在时。本篇书面表达,考生重点要解决的问题是要列出和挖掘要点:要点1.手机是当今社会必备的一种交流工具,但是对手机的过度依赖的确成了社会的一种普遍现象。要点2.漫画显示几个人在一起吃饭,但是他们没有进行什么交流,而是三人在玩手机,一人因为没有带手机似乎显得焦虑;要点3.导致这一现象的原因(考生自己设想)。比如:人们迫切希望和别人多交流,但是他们不希望和别人面对面交流;要点4.你的看法(考生自己设想)。比如:认为应该去平衡我们的生活,多花时间和家人孩子在一起,控制使用手机的时间,避免过度依赖手机进行交流。【参考答案】It is mon that we use cell phones as a means of munication for its convenience. However, the factthatpeoplearegettingaddicted to cellphones cannotbeignored.Have a look at the picture. Three persons are playing with their cell phones when having dinner, buriedthemselves inapersonalspace. The scene can be seen everywhere in our life. Besides, the little girl seems to be feeling anxious because she has no cell-phone with her.I think there are two reasons for this. Ononehand,people are eager to share ideas with others.Ontheotherhand,notbelievinginothers,they are unwilling to municate with people around them face to face. Facedwiththisproblem,I thought making a balance of our life is the key. We should spend more time with our family and friends, and at the same time try to be self-controlled to avoidover-dependence on cells phones.【范文评析】1.第一段范文作者首先指出“It is mon that we use cell phones as a means of munication for its convenience”说明“手机作为一种交流工具给人们带来方便”;接着用“However”话锋一转,指出“人们对手机的沉迷的事实不容忽视”,为第二段对漫画的描述打下伏笔。该段中运用了比较高级的词汇“a means of munication(一种交流方式/方法), convenience(方便,便利),getaddicted to(沉迷于,对上瘾), ignore(忽视/忽略)”;2.第二段用祈使句“Have a look at the picture”推出对漫画的描述。范文分为两个部分对漫画进行了描述。一是对三个玩手机的人的描述“Three persons are playing with their cell phones when having dinner, buriedthemselves inapersonalspace”;二是对小女孩的描述(这一点作者进行了合理的想象);在该段中,作者还注意进行了适当的议论“The scene can be seen everywhere in our life”。过去分词短语“buriedthemselves inapersonalspace(埋头于个人空间)”的运用,凸显了文章的亮点;3.第三段用一个复合句“I think there are two reasons for this”承上启下来解释导致这一现象的原因。作者用关联词“Ononehand(一方面), Ontheotherhand(另一方面)”引出两个方面的原因,可见言简意赅,层次分明。其中常规词组“are eager to share ideas with others,believingin others,unwilling to municate with people around them face to face”等的运用让读者感到格外亲切。4.最后一段用过去分词短语“Facedwiththisproblem”过渡到谈自己的看法。两个合成词“self-controlled(自我控制), over-dependence(过度依赖)”用得非常到位。练习三智能手机(smart-phone)的使用现在已经非常普遍了,尤其是在年轻当中。它在给我们带来方便的同时,也带来了一些问题:1.手机强大的储存功能使得人们的记忆力越来越差;2.网络聊天、微信使得人与人之间缺乏面对面的交流,造成人际交往困难;3.青少年沉迷于网络游戏,导致睡眠质量差,影响身体健康;4.学生甚至做作业也依赖智能手机,不愿自己独立思考。5.你的观点【写作内容】1.智能手机带来的问题;2.你的观点。【写作要求】只能用5个句子表达全部内容。文章开头已给出The smart-phone has brought us great convenience. However, it has also brought us some problems.【思路点拨】 这是高考广东卷基础写作所采用的题型,这种书面表达难就难在限制用5个句子来进行表达。因此考生首先要仔细审题,要点是以提纲形式出现的,做题时包括以下几个方面:层次结构;句子的时态;内容要点。尤其是内容要点要把握准确到位,要点需要考生拿捏准确以及正确,这加大了写作难度。再者考生要注意尽可能使句子的表达形式多样化,适当的使用一些高级句式和高级词汇,以提高书面表达的档次和可读性。因为只能使用5个句子表达全部的内容。又要包括所有的要点,考生要多使用复杂句,一句话中多包含些信息。1.手机强大的储存功能使得人们的记忆力越来越差;2.网络聊天、微信使得人与人之间缺乏面对面的交流,造成人际交往困难;3.青少年沉迷于网络游戏,导致睡眠质量差,影响身体健康;4.学生甚至做作业也依赖智能手机,不愿自己独立思考;5.围绕上述四点思考,就不难得出自己的观点:我们应该正确使用手机,而不要过度依赖手机。【参考答案】The smart-phone has brought us great convenience. However, it has brought us some problems. First of all, as we all know, the smart-phone can store a great deal of information, which makes our memory get worse and worse. Besides, no one can ignore the fact that a growing number of people are occupied in chatting online and WeChat so that it will be difficult for them to municate with others face to face in real life. In addition, some teenagers are addicted to playing Internet games, resulting in their suffering a poor sleep, which does great harm to their health. Last but not least, some students prefer to surf the Internet to search for the answer rather than think it by themselves even when they do their homework. As a consequence, in my opinion, we should use the smart-phone correctly instead of depending on it too much in our daily life.2.范文用一个复合句来表达第二个要点。段中词组“are occupied in”和经典句型“it +be +形容词+for sb. to do sth.(it will be difficult for them to municate with others face to face in real life)”的应用为文章增色不少;3.范文用一个复合句来表达第三个要点。先用主句“some teenagers are addicted to playing Internet games”表达“青少年沉迷于网络游戏”,再用现在分词短语“resulting in their suffering a poor sleep”表示由此导致的后果“导致睡眠质量差”,最后用非限制性定语从句“which does great harm to their health”进一步叙述由此导致的后果“影响身体健康”。三个词组 “be addicted to (doing)sth. , result in, do harm to” 呈现了三大亮点;4.范文用一个复合句来表达第四个要点。经典句型“prefer to do sth. rather than do sth.”用在这儿可谓是精彩至极;5.范文用一个简单句来表达作者的观点。这最后一句简单句用得恰到好处,不但显示句式的变化,而且让读者读到此处有一种放松的感觉。6.范文最大的亮点在于作者用关联词语“First of all, Besides, In addition, Last but not least, As a consequence, in my opinion”将5个句子有机地连接起来,使整个文章浑然一体(必备的写作基本功)。猜 题请根据提供图片写一篇150字左右的作文。作文包括以下内容: 1.简单描述漫画内容;2.概述你对漫画的理解;3.举例说明你会怎么做。注意:文中不得出现个人身份的任何信息【思路点拨】 本篇看图作文的要求十分明确:简单描述漫画内容;概述你对漫画的理解;举例说明你会怎么做。但是要达到150字的要求可能并非易事。因而考生考虑的重点应该放在对“概述你对漫画的理解”上展开丰富的联想,你才有话可说。由图画展开联想,我们可以围绕“虚拟世界与现实世界(根据图片中母女俩近在咫尺却用手机进行母亲节的问候的情形去联想)”的问题去写,相信考生围绕此话题是可以发挥的。【参考答案】As is shown in the picture, a girl is sitting beside her mother on the sofa and sending her mother good wishes for Mothers Day. Just beside her, her mother answers her greeting back with Thank you.This picture reminds me of most people addicted to cell phones around me. They lose themselves in the virtual world and if this continues, they will eventually be cut off from reality. There is no doubt that the virtual world can be exciting, but thats not the reason for us to go too far. Too much time and energy devoted to the virtual world can result in problems mentally. The real world that we live in is what counts most.Personally, Ill devote myself to worthwhile things in real life, ranging from saying hello to my studies. Only like this can I make my life full and valuable. 2. 用简单句“This picture reminds me of most people addicted to cell phones around me”开启了对“对漫画的理解”的话题。句中“remind sb. of sb.”和过去分词短语“addicted to cell phones around me(作people的定语,相当于定语从句who are addicted to cell phones around me)”的运用彰显了亮点;接下来就“虚拟世界与现实世界”的问题展开议论。最后一句话明确了作者最关键的观点“The real world that we live in is what counts most.(我们所生活的的现实世界才是最重要的)”。“lose themselves in the virtual world,eventually be cut off from reality,devoted to the virtual world,result in problems mentally”的运用都充分显示了作者的语言功底。两个经典句型“There is no doubt that(毫无疑问)”“ what counts most.( 最重要的)”更是凸显了文章的亮点;3.承接上文的最关键的观点,作者用一句简单句就出色地完成了“举例说明你会怎么做”的问题。使用“Personally”连贯上下文。“devote myself to, worthwhile things, ranging from to”等词汇的使用给文章增色不少。最后用一个典型的倒装句“Only like this can I make my life full and valuable”使全文完美收官。
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