高中英语作文公开课课件.ppt

高中英语复习写作讲评课Assessment practiceofWriting 2008年奥运会刚刚落幕 一家英文报刊在其网站上征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议 假设你叫李华 是该报的一名读者 请给该报编辑部写一封信 谈谈你的建议和理由 内容包括 向公众开放 用于健身 租给体育公司 创造经济效益 开辟成旅游景点 吸引游客 Deareditor IamLiHua areaderofyourpaper 评分的四大纬度 内容 语法 思想 框架 组织结构 要点全 拓展有度 有效 连接词 作文结构紧凑 流畅 准确 复杂语法结构 高级词汇 多种句型 开放能引起读者的共鸣 灵魂 常见错误 1 单词拼写或用错 GiveyousomeadviseIjustprovideyoumyownsuggests Theycanattactvisitors advice suggestion attract 问题 2 时态语态问题WemaygivenittothePEcompany WemaygiveittothePEcompany 3 主谓一致问题Thesportstadiumsisverygreatandishighlyspokenofbytheforeigners Thesportstadiumsareverygreatandarehighlyspokenofbytheforeigners 4 逐字翻译问题Thestadiumscanopentopeoplefordoexerciseuse Thestadiumscanbeopenedtopeoplefordoingexercises 问题 5 词性混淆问题Itcancreativemoney Itcancreate bringinmoney Manypeoplecanusethemtostrongourbody Manypeoplecanusethemtostrengthenourbody 6 介词短语的运用问题Iamwritingtomakesomeadviceforhowtomakefulluseofthesportsstadium Iamwritingtomakesomeadviceonhowtomakefulluseofthesportsstadium 问题 句子结构不完整Onlymakefulluseofthemdoesitmakesense OnlybymakingfulluseofthemdoesitmakesenseThe29thOlympicGameswhichhostedinBeijingwereheldsuccessfully The29thOlympicGameswhichwerehostedinBeijingwereheldsuccessfully 1 审题2 列提纲 要点3 连词成句4 连句成篇5 润色修正6 定稿 写作步骤 体裁时态结构要求 字数内容 信息2信息3信息4 开头正文结尾 1 审题 体裁人称时态要求结构 字数内容 一般现在时 Para 1Para 2Para 3 抓要点 120个左右 信息1 信息5 08年奥运会刚刚落幕 征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议 你想写一些建议 向公众开放 用于健身 总结 意愿 书信格式 租给体育公司 创造经济效益 开辟成旅游景点 吸引游客 第一 三人称 08年奥运会刚刚落幕 征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议 你想写一些建议 2 列提纲 要点 开头信息1 08年奥运会刚刚落幕 征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议 你想写一些建议 Wanttowritesomeadvice WouldliketogiveyousomeadviceContributesomesuggestionstoyou CollectsomeadviceHowtouse makeuseof makethebestofthestadiums AftertheOlympicGamesAfterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGames The2008BeijingOlympic wereover finished heldsuccessfullyinBeijing 向公众开放 用于健身 租给体育公司 创造经济效益 开辟成旅游景点 吸引游客 2 列提纲 要点 Useitas beusedfor as takeitas openitforPlacesofinterest touristattractionsAttracttourists appealtovisitors beattractionforvisitors Give to Rent to berentedtoSportcompany companieswhichorganizematches organizingmatchesMake createmoney bringinmoney makemoreprofits Open beopenedtothepeople public openthemtopublic Beusedfor as bemadeto Dosomeexercise buildourbodies strengthenourbodies 信息2信息3信息4 向公众开放 用于健身 租给体育公司 创造经济效益 开辟成旅游景点 吸引游客 正文 2 列提纲 要点 信息5 总结 意愿 结尾 Inmyopinion asfarasIamconcerned frommypointofview Iwouldappreciate Iwouldyouwillthinkof take intoconsideration 开头信息1 08年奥运会刚刚落幕 征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议 你想写一些建议 3 连词成句 The2008BeijingOlympicGameswereover finished The29thOlympicGameswereheldsuccessfullyinBeijing Beijinghostedthe29thOlympicGameswithagreatsuccess The29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess Beijingachieveditsdreamofhostingthe29thOlympicGamessuccessfully CollectsomeadviceHowtouse makeuseof makethebestofthestadiums AftertheOlympicGamesAfterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGames YouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakeuseofthestadiumsafterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGames IhearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGamessuccessfully Wanttowritesomeadvice WouldliketogiveyousomeadviceContributesomesuggestionstoyou Iwouldliketogiveyousomeadvice Iwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou 4 Useitas beusedfor as takeitas openitforPlacesofinterests touristattractionsAttracttourists appealtovisitors beattractionforvisitors 3 Give to Rent to berentedtoSportcompany companieswhichorganizematches organizingmatchesMake createmoney bringinmoney makemoreprofits 信息2信息3信息4 向公众开放 用于健身 租给体育公司 创造经济效益 开辟成旅游景点 吸引游客 正文 3 连词成句 2 Open beopenedtothepeople public openthemtopublic Beusedfor as bemadeto Dosomeexercise buildourbody strengthenourbodies 2 Thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic Thepubliccanbuildtheirbodies strengthentheirbodies 3 Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches Itcanbringinmoremoney makemoreprofits 4 Theycanbeusedastouristattraction Itcanattractmanyvisitors 信息5 总结 意愿 结尾 Inmyopinion asfarasIamconcerned frommypointofview Iwouldappreciate Iwouldyouwillthinkof take intoconsideration Inaword 3 连词成句 Frommypointofview weshoulddowhatwecantomakefulluseofthestadium Iwouldappreciateitifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration 4 连句成篇 Para 1 The29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess Ihearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiums Iwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou Para 2 Thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic Thepubliccanbuildtheirbodies strengthentheirbodies Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches Itcanbringinmoremoney makemoreprofits Theycanbeusedastouristattraction Itcanattractmanyvisitors Para 3 Frommypointofview weshoulddowhatwecantomakefullusethestadium Iwouldappreciateitifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration 4 连句成篇 Para 1 The29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess Ihearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiums Iwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou Para 1 Ihearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterthe29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou 4 连句成篇 Para 2 Thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits Theycanbeusedastouristattraction Itcanattractmanyvisitors Para 2 Firstofall thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies Secondly Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits lastbutnotleast Theycanbeusedastouristattraction Itcanattractmanyvisitors FirstofallFirstly Tobeginwith Inaddition Besides Moreover What smore Finally What sworse 使用恰当的连接词 first firstly second secondly lastbutnotleast and too aswellas alongwith togetherwith forexample forinstance like suchas asto but however while though onthecontrary because since thanksto asaresult consequence of thus therefore inaword inshort tosumup inconclusion what smore besides tomakemattersworse what sworse worsestill furthermore 4 连句成篇 Iheardyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterthe29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou Firstofall thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies Secondly Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits lastbutnotleast Theycanbeusedastouristattraction Itcanattractmanyvisitors Frommypointofview weshoulddowhatwecantomakefullusethestadium Iwouldappreciateitverymuchifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration 5 润色修正 二 使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档 三 巧用倒装增强句子表现力 四 尝试多样化表达方式 5 润色修正方式 一 使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力 强调句 With短语复合结构 定语从句 名词性从句 主宾表同从句 各种状语从句 被动语态 1 Manypeoplewanttovisitthestadium 2 Thestadiumisuseful Manypeoplearedyingtovisitthestadium Thestadiumisofgreatvalue 一 使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力 5 润色修正 1 The29thOlympicGamesweresuccessfullyended Itleftmanystadiumsunused The29thOlympicGamesweresuccessfullyended leavingmanystadiumsunused 二 使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档 5 润色修正 1 wecanletstadiummakesenseOnlywhenwemakefulluseofthestadium2 Thestadiumscanberentedtothephysicalcompanytocreatemoreeconomicprofits theycanbetheplacestoappealvisitorstopayavisit Onlywhenwemakefulluseofthestadiumcanweletstadiummakesense Notonlycanthestadiumsberentedtothephysicalcompanytocreatemoreeconomicprofits butalsotheycanbetheplacestoappealvisitorstopayavisit 5 润色修正 三 巧用倒装增强句子表现力 WeshouldtaketheOlympicstadiumsintoconsiderationafterBeijinghostedthegamessuccessfully The29thOlympicGameswereendedsuccessfully westarttalkingabouthowtousethestadiumsproperlyforourdailylives ItistheOlympicstadiumsthatweshouldtakeintoconsiderationafterBeijinghostedthegamessuccessfully Withthe29thOlympicGamesendedsuccessfully westarttalkingabouthowtousethestadiumsproperlyforourdailylives 5 润色修正 四 尝试多样化表达方式 强调句 With短语复合结构 Youcanopenthemforthepublic Thestadiumscanbeusedtotakeexercise Youcanopenthestadiumswhichcanbeusedtotakeexerciseforthepublic 5 润色修正 四 尝试多样化表达方式 定语从句 各种状语从句 我们锻炼的越多 我们就越健康 Themoreexerciseswetake thehealthierwewillbecome 被动语态 Weshouldpaymoreattentiontothestadiums Moreattentionshouldbepaidtothestadiums Iheardyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterthe29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou Firstofall thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies Secondly Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits lastbutnotleast Theycanbeusedastouristattraction Itcanattractmanyvisitors Frommypointofview weshoulddowhatwecantomakefullusethestadium Iwouldappreciateitverymuchifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration 5 润色修正 高考书面表达各档次的给分范围和要求 第五档 21 25分 完全完成了试题规定的任务 准确 清楚地表达了短文的内容 要点无遗漏应用了较多的语法结构和词汇语法结构和词汇有少许错误 但为尽可能使用较复杂表达方式所致 具备较强的语言应用能力有效地使用了语句间的连接成分 使全文结构紧凑完全达到了预期的写作目的 第四档 16 20分 完成了试题规定的任务 比较准确 清楚地表达了短文的内容应用语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求语法结构和词汇应用基本准确 少许错误主要是因为尝试较复杂语言结构或词汇所致应用简单的语句间的连接成分 使全文结构紧凑达到了预期的写作目的 Withthe29thOlympicGamesendedsuccessfully Whatweshoulddonowishowtomakefulluseofthestadiums Iheardyouaredyingforsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthem HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou Firstofall thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic wheretheycanstrengthentheirbodiesconveniently Secondly Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanieswhichorganizematches thusbringinginmuchmoreprofits lastbutnotleast Theycanbeusedastouristattraction BecausemanyofthemaresowelldesignedwithstrongChinesefeaturesthattheywillsurelybeattractionsforvisitorsfromallovertheworld Frommypointofview weshoulddowhatwecantomakefulluseofthestadiums Onlywhenwetakeactionscanwebringabrightfuturetotheirvalue Iwouldappreciateitverymuchifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration 润色修正 学校英语社征稿 请同学们就校园清洁清洁问题和校园环境发表看法 并提出建议 包括如下内容 词数 120个左右 注意 题目已为你写出 不计入总词数 Betterschoolyardcontributestoabetterschoollife Homework 美好环境让人感到舒适 心情愉快 从而提高效率 efficiency 就校园做清洁和保洁提两点建议 就美化校园提两点建议