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Todaytherearetwomajorpartsinthespeech,1.SomeEnglishsmalljokes2.Somebeautifulsentencesofthemovie,Iknowwhogodis,Aboysaystohismother,Mom,isGodamanorwoman?Themomthinksawhileandsays,Well,son,Godisbothmanandwoman.Thesonisconfused,soheasks,isGodblackorwhite?Themotherreplies,Godisbothblackandwhite,honey.Theson,stillcurious,saysafterawhile,isGodgayorstraight,mommy?Themother,gettingalittleworried,answers,Son,Godisbothgayandstraight.Thesonthinksaboutit,andhisfacelightsupwhenhethinkshefinallyhasansweredhisquestion:IsGodMichaelJackson?囧,SecretForaLongLife,Awomanwalksuptoalittleoldmanrockinginachaironhisporch（门廊）.Icouldnthelpnoticinghowhappyyoulook,shesays.Whatsyoursecretforalong,happylife?Ismokethreepacksaday,drinkacase(箱)ofwhiskeyaweek,eatfattyfoodsandneverdoexercise.Wow,thatsamazing,saysthewoman.Howoldareyou?Twenty-two.-_-|,TwoAttorneys两个律师,Twoattorneyswentintoarestaurantandorderedtwodrinks.Thentheybroughtoutsandwichesfromtheirbriefcasesandstartedtoeat.Theownermarchedoverandtoldthem,Youcanteatyourownsandwicheshere!Theattorneyslookedateachother,shruggedtheirshouldersandthenexchangedsandwiches._,FatManandThinMan,Averythinmanmetaveryfatmaninthehotellobby(大厅).“Fromyourlooks,”saidthefatman,“theremighthavebeenafamine（饥荒）.Yes,wasthereply,andfromyourlooks,youmighthavecausedit.“(),Youhavetorollupthewindowsfirst,Awomangotadent（凹痕）inhercarandtookitintotherepairshop.Therepairmandecidedtohaveaweebit（一点，少许）offun.Sohetoldherallshehadtodowastotakeithomeandblowinthetailpipe（排气管）untilthedentpoppeditselfout（膨胀）.After15minutesofthis,alady,oneofthewomansfriendscameoverandaskedwhatshewasdoing.Imtryingtopopoutthisdent,butitsnotreallyworking.“Duh（=Do表犹豫）youhavetorollupthewindowsfirst!“?_?,IvenevergivenmuchthoughttohowIwoulddie,butdyingintheplaceofsomeoneIloveseemslikeagoodwaytogo.我过去从未过多考虑过我将来会如何死去，但死在我爱的人怀里倒是一个不错的选择。,Butitsyou,yourscent,itslikeadrugtome.Yourelikemypersonalbrandofheroin.但是你，你的气味，对我来说就像毒品一样。你就像我私人的海洛因一样,Idonthavethestrengthtostayawayfromyouanymore.我再也没有离开你的力气了。,Ijustcouldntliveinaworldwhereyoudontexist.没有你的世界，我活着也没有意义。,送给大家的几句话,Whensomeoneasksyouaquestionyoudontwanttoanswer,smileandsay,“Whydoyouwanttoknow?”当别人问你不想回答的问题时，笑着说：“你为什么想知道？”Nobodycangobackandstartanewbeginning,butanyonecanstartnowandmakeanewending.没有人可以回到过去重新开始，但谁都可以从现在开始，书写一个全然不同的结局。Adaywithoutlaughterisadaywasted.没有大笑的一天，等于浪费了一天。Therearesomanypeopleouttherewhowilltellyouthatyoucant.Whatyouvegottodoisturnaroundandsay:Watchme.总会有许多人对你指手画脚，说“你做不到。”你所要做的就是转过头，去对他们说：“看我的。”Everythingwillbeokayintheend.Ifitsnotokay,itsnottheend.每件事最后都会是好事。如果不是好事，说明还没到最后。Dontcompareyourlifetoothers,youhavenoideawhattheirjourneyisallabout.Nooneischargeofyourhappinessexceptyou.不要拿自己的生活跟别人比，因为你无法了解别人的经历。没人能主宰你的幸福，除了你自己！,
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