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10月6日月考作文讲评,情景作文（2010届东城一模）,假设你是李华，光明中学的学生。国庆期间你参加了社区居委会组织的社区服务活动。请你按照图片顺序，以“CommunityService”为题，向学校英文校刊投稿，介绍这次活动情况。注意：1文章开头已为你写好2词数不少于603参考词汇：sportsfacilities体育设施,国庆快乐,审题,一、审文字文体：记叙文结构：第一段：背景已给第二段：叙述完整的活动过程第三段：抒发感受、感想等时态：叙事：一般过去时感想：一般现在时人称：I/we标题：CommunityService提示词：sportsfacilities,特别提醒1、12分以下：少感受，结构不完整叙事段时态错误（一般现在时）少必要细节。如图1：孤寡老人、打扫卫生应具体到一项图4：横幅“国庆快乐”等2、分黑色签字笔扣5分3、没有自然分段扣2分4、字数不够或超出指定范围视情况而定扣分,Sample：CommunityServiceDuringthewintervacation,thestudentsinourclassjoinedinameaningfulactivityinwhichallofusdidourbitforthecommunity.Firstwewenttovisitanoldladywholivedallalone.Whilewewereinherhome,oneofuschattedwithherandtheresthelpeddoathoroughcleaning.Weswepttheflooranddustedthetable.Whentheworkwasdone,thehouselookedreallyneatandtidythenwewenttothesportscenter,wheredifferentsportsfacilitiesneededpolishing.Wesetouttoworkatonce.Innotimeeverythingwasdust-free.Tomaketheenvironmentclean,wealsopickedupthelitteronthegrassandalongthepaths.TocelebratetheNationalDay,weputupdecorationsonthebillboardandaposterwiththecharactersHappyNationalDayonit.Havingdoneallthese,wesawamorepleasantcommunity.Tiredaswewere,wefelthappyasallofourworkpaidoff.,写作技巧（结构）,自然分段叙事顺序：以时间为顺序：Onthefirstday,onthesecondday,onthethird/fourthday,Inthemorning,lateron,afterlunch,.,intheafternoon,以活动为顺序：First,then.,afterward,finallyTostartwith,then,.,intheend,写作技巧（图片）,P1:注意：人物代表性：老奶奶-社区老人（无人照顾）学生-社区学生,包括I（不点名道姓）活动表达：onetherest/somewhileothersGirls.whileboyssuchascleaningthefloor,wipingthewindowsandsweepingthefloor.did,did,anddidNotonlydidweclean,butwealsochattedwiththeold.,写作技巧（图片）,P2/3:用词准确健身中心：sportscenter/exercisecentertrainingcenter/thesquarewherepeopledoexercise清洁健身器材：clean/cleanup/clearup/giveathroughcleaning(wash不太准确)捡拾垃圾：pickupthelitter/garbage/trash/wastes/rubbish草地上：onthegrass/lawn,写作技巧（图片）,P4:细节表达装扮：decorate/redecoratethecommunity挂“国庆快乐”横幅：putupabanner/poster/flagwithaslogan“HappyNationalDay”onit布置橱窗：renew/decoratethebulletinboardwithgreetings/DIYsigns/pictures/paintings,-难忘的经历；责任感增强，服务意识/社区意识增强；能力得到锻炼等）个人收获：-Afterawholedayofwork,mybodywaswashedout,butmyheartwasfilledwithsatisfaction.ItgavemeabigreliefthatIcoulddosomethingforourcity.-Thisunforgettablevolunteerworknotonlybringsmegreatprideandhappinessbutalsoinspiresmethathelpingothersiskindofthingsfullofenjoyment.,写作技巧（感受）,活动启发：-Ourserviceisnotonlyforourcommunity,butalsoasmallgifttoourcountry.-Allforone；oneforall.Shouldwedevoteourselvestovolunteerworktomaketheworldabetterplaceforothersaswellasforusourselves?-Wewereallinhighspiritsthatday;wegainednotonlyenjoymentbutalsoamessagefromthecommunityservicethattheharmonyofourcommunityneedseveryoneseffort.,写作技巧（感受）,lonely/alonetheold/seniorsdosomecleaning/sweeping/wipingtoonessurpriseheart-heartilyonthegrass/lawnattheend/bytheend/intheendonthefirstdayhang-hanged/hung-hanged/hungtake-tooktaken；throw-threw-throwncatch-caught-caught；last-last-lastlie-lay-lainsociety/nature/theenvironment/government,写作技巧（语言）,Earlyinthemorning,wegatheredtogetherandvisitedtheoldpeopleshousestodothroughclean-ups.Someofuschattedwithgrannywhileotherssweptthetable,thefloorandthewindow.Thenwewentoutsidetocleanthesportsfacilitiesinourcommunityspark.Thoughtheworkwastough,wediditinhighspiritsaswecleanedupallthedirtonthefacilities.Intheafternoon,wewenttothelawnandpickedupallthelitterandgarbageonthegrass.Wepickedthemupinplasticbagsandthrewthemintothenearbygarbagecans.Asthedaycametoanend,weputupdecorationsonthebulletinboardandhungupbigposterswiththewish“HappyNationalDay”onthem.Iwasproudofmyselffortakingpartinthecommunityservice.Igainedmuchpleasurefromvolunteeringandhelpingothers.,高三1班王安艺CommunityServiceDuringtheNationalHolidays,.Onthefirstdayoftheholiday,Igatheredafewofmyclassmates,visitedanoldgrannywholivedaloneanddidathoroughcleaninginherhouse.Somecleanedthedoorsandtables;somesweptthefloor,whileImadeacupofhotteaandchattedwithherhappily.AndweplasteredabigposterwithaChinesecharacter“Fu”onthewall,wishingherawonderfulholiday.Onthenextday,wecleanedthewholesetofsportsfacilitiesinourcommunityandwewerecheerfultoseeitbecamebrandnew.Intheafternoon,wehadallthegarbagepickedupinthegarden.Oncecollectingintheplasticbag,wethrewthemintoadustbin.Finally,onthelastday,weredecoratedthewholecommunity,puttingupposterswith“HappyNationalDay”onthem,deliveringthebestwishestoallourneighbors.Exhaustedbutdelighted,Ispentsuchameaningfulholidaybydevotingmyselftothevoluntarywork.Ifoundittrulyworthwhileanddeterminedtodosointhecomingwinterholidays.,DuringtheNationalHolidays,.Inthemorning,wevisitedthehomeofanoldladytokeephercompany.Thegirlschattedwithhercheerfully,whiletheboyssweptthefloorandwipedthefurniture.Thenwegatheredattheexercisecenterandtookoutragsandbucketstogivethesportfacilitiesathoroughcleaning.Theworkwastiring,nodoubt,butalsosatisfyingoncewesawtheequipmentsshininglikebrand-newagain.Afteraquicklunch,wespreadouttopickupthelitterstrewnoverthelawns,rememberingtosortouttherecyclable,ofcourse!Finally,weputuppicturesandwrotedownholidaygreetingsonthenoticeboardastobrightenupthecommunity.WeevenmadealargebannerwishingeveryoneahappyNationalDay!Ithinkwealllearnedtogivebacktoourcommunityandhelpmakeitanicerplacetolivein.Ithascertainlybeenamemorableactivity.,高三理7班麦程恩CommunityServiceDuringtheNationalHolidays,Tostartwith,wedroppedinonanoldlady,wholivedalone,helpinghercleanupherhouse,aswellaschattingwithherinordertomakeherhappy.Afterthat,wedevotedourselvestocleaningthesportfacilitiesinthecommunity.Havingfinishedit,wenoticedthatsomerubbishspreadoutinthegardennearby,whichentirelyruinedthebeautyofthecommunity.Soweheadedtopickthemupwithouthesitation.Tomakethisactivitymoremeaningful,wecameupwithanideatodecoratethecommunity,puttingupabannerwith“HappyNationalDay”.Tiredaswewere,wewereallsatisfiedwithourjob.WhatasenseofaccomplishmentdidIgainfromthisactivity!,
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