大学英语写作 3-What a Good Sentence Is

,Click to edit Master title style,Click to edit Master text styles,Second level,Third level,Fourth level,Fifth level,*,College English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang,Click to edit Master title style,Click to edit Master text styles,Second level,Third level,Fourth level,Fifth level,*,College English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggang,Part 3What Is an Effective Sentence,This is where we learn to see what a good sentence should be like.,What is a good sentence?,A good sentence should have the following qualities:,1),unity,;,2),coherence,;,3),conciseness,；,4),emphasis,；,5) variety.,Unity,(一致性),A unified sentence expresses,a single complete thought,. It does not contain ideas that are,not closely related, nor does it express a thought that is,not complete itself.,e.g:,* Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets.,Improved:,Du,Fu was one of the Greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty in China.,Unity,(一致性),e.g:,* Born in a small town in South China in the early 50s, he grew up to be a famous musician.,Improved:,He was born in a small town in South China in the early 50s, In his childhood he liked to sing songs. Later he entered a conservatory(,音乐学校). In the 70s, he became,a famous musician.,Improved:,Although he was born in a small town, he grew up to be a famous musician.,Coherence,(连贯性),Coherence means,clear and reasonable connections,between parts.,It is not coherent if it has,faulty parallel constructions,dangling or misplaced modifiers,pronouns with ambiguous reference,confusing shift,in person and number, or voice, tense, and mood.,e.g：,* Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets.,Improved:,Du,Fu was one of the Greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty in China.,Coherence,(连贯性),faulty parallel constructions,e.g：,* A man is judged not only by what he says but also by his deeds.,Revised:,1),A man is judged not only,by what he says,but also,by what he does,.,2),A man is judged not only,by his words,but also,by his deeds,.,Coherence,(连贯性),faulty parallel constructions,e.g：,* We thought she was charming, intelligent and a very capable young women.,Revised:,1),We thought she was,charming, intelligent and very capable,.,2),We thought she was a charming, intelligent and very capable young woman.,Coherence,(连贯性),faulty parallel constructions,e.g：,* We have great faith and high hopes for her.,Revised:,We have,great faith in,and,high hopes for,her.,Coherence,(连贯性),pronoun with ambiguous reference,e.g：,* She told my sister that she was wrong.,Revised:,1),Im wrong,she,said to my sister.,2),She,admitted that,she,was wrong and said to my sister.,3) You were wrong, s,he said to,my sister,.,4),My sister,was told that,she,was wrong,.,Coherence,(连贯性),pronoun with ambiguous reference,e.g：,* He was knocked down by a bike, but it was not serious.,Revised:,1),He was knocked down by a bike, but was not seriously,hurt,.,Coherence,(连贯性),dangling modifiers,e.g：,* On entering the classroom, the students stood up and said, Good Morning!,Revised:,1),When the teacher entered the classroom, the students stood up and said, Good Morning!,.,2),On entering the classroom, the teacher was greeted by the students, who stood up and said, Good Morning!,Coherence,(连贯性),dangling modifiers,e.g：,* Looking out of the window, the grassland goes as far as the eyes can reach.,Revised:,1),Looking out of the window,he/she/I can see,the grassland,going,as far as the eyes can reach.,2),Outside the window, the grassland goes as far as the eyes can reach.,Coherence,(连贯性),misplaced modifiers,e.g：,* I read an interesting story in a magazine about sportsman.,Revised:,1),I read an interesting,story about sportsman,in a magazine.,2),I,n a magazine,I read an interesting,story about sportsman.,Coherence,(连贯性),misplaced modifiers,e.g：,* The idea he mentioned at first sounded good.,Revised:,1),The idea he,first,mentioned sounded good.,2),The idea he mentioned sounded good at first.,Coherence,(连贯性),misplaced modifiers,e.g：,* She bought several books and put them into her bag, which she intended to give to her children.,Revised:,1),She bought several books,for her,children and put them into her bag.,2),She put into her bag the books,she had bought for her children.,Coherence,(连贯性),misplaced modifiers,e.g：,* He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, which nobody believed.,Revised:,1),He gave a,reason, which nobody believed,for not attending the meeting.,2),He gave a reason for not attending the meeting,a reason which nobody believed,.,Coherence,(连贯性),confusing change in person,e.g：,* An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, you should not copy.,Revised:,An important thing for,the student,to remember is that when writing a paper,he/she,should not copy.,Coherence,(连贯性),confusing change in number,e.g：,* Those who wish to take maths are expected to sign his name on this sheet of paper.,Revised:,Those,who wish to take maths are expected to sign,their names,on this sheet of paper.,Coherence,(连贯性),confusing changing mood,e.g：,* Students should learn to analyze and solve problems independently. Dont rely on your teachers help.,Revised:,Students should,learn to analyze and solve problems independently.,They should,not rely on their teachers help.,Coherence,(连贯性),confusing change in voice,e.g：,* She reviewed the lesson taught last week and all the exercises assigned by the teacher were done.,Revised:,She reviewed,the lesson taught last week and,(she) did,all the exercises assigned by the teacher.,Conciseness,(简明),A sentence should contain no unnecessary words.,If the idea is fully/clearly expressed, the fewer words are used, the better.,e.g：,* It was blue in color.,* Mary is a quiet and careful woman.,Revised:,It was blue.,Mary is quiet and careful.,Conciseness,(简明),delete unnecessary repetition,e.g：,* He gave many reasons for the failure, but the reasons he gave were not convincing.,* In my opinion, I think your plan is doable.,Revised:,H,e gave many reasons for the failure, but,none of them was,convincing.,*,In my opinion, your plan is doable.,Conciseness,(简明),change sentence structure,e.g：,* There was a pine tree that stood like a giant on the top of the mountain. It towered over the trees around it.,Revised:,1) The pine tree on the top of the mountain stood like a giant and towered over the trees around it.,2),The pine tree on the top of the mountain towered over the trees around it.,3) On the top of the mountain was a giant pine tree which towered over the trees around it.,Emphasis,(重点突出),When there is an important idea, it should be expressed with emphasis.,Ways of emphasis include:,1) using emphatic sentences,2),using emphasis within sentence,Emphasis,(重点突出),using emphatic sentences,Emphatic sentences include:,1) short sentences;,2),sentence fragments;,3) inverted sentences(,倒装句,);,4) balanced sentences;,5) periodic sentences;,Emphasis,(重点突出),using emphatic sentences,Emphatic sentences include:,6) imperative or exclamatory sentences;,7) rhetorical questions;,8) negative-positive statements;,9) sentences with repeated words or phrases.,Emphasis,(重点突出),using emphatic sentences,e.g:,The sky was overcast. A north wind was blowing. It threatened to rain at any moment.,A gloomy day.,using short sentences and sentence fragment,Emphasis,(重点突出),using emphatic sentences,e.g:,1) In rushed the noisy children.,2) The poet was born poor, and poor he remained all his life.,using inverted sentence(倒装),Emphasis,(重点突出),using emphatic sentences,e.g:,1) You call that a good play? What is good about it?,2) I didnt get a ticket for the opera. How could I?,3) Didnt I tell you that you must not touch this machine?,using rhetorical questions(修辞问句),Emphasis,(重点突出),using emphatic sentences,e.g:,1) The delegates shouted and quarreled. It was not a meeting; it was a farce,(闹剧).,2) There was so many errors in the performance that the result was not a tragedy, but a comedy.,using negative-positive statements,(修辞问句),Emphasis,(重点突出),using emphatic sentences,e.g:,1) Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth,.,2) There was so many errors in the performance that the result was not a tragedy, but a comedy.,using repeated words or phrases,(修辞问句),Emphasis,(重点突出),emphasis within sentence,(句内强调),Emphasis within sentences include:,1) Placing;,2),repetition;,3) verb and active voice;,4) complex sentence;,5) a series of short sentences;,6) emphatic words and phrases,7) alliteration (头韵),Emphasis,(重点突出),emphasis within sentence,(句内强调),e.g:,1) There is a big tree, which is said to be 300 years old, in the temple,2) In the temple there is a big tree, which is said to be 300 years old.,Placing：,Emphasis,(重点突出),emphasis within sentence,(句内强调),e.g:,1) Wang Bing is modest and hardworking and is a good student.,2) Modest and hardworking, Wang Bing is a good student.,3) Wang Bing is a good student, modest and hardworking.,Placing：,Emphasis,(重点突出),emphasis within sentence,(句内强调),e.g:,1) At the sight of the disorderly crowd, he was aware that something bad would be possible.,2) The moment he saw the disorderly crowd, he knew that something bad would happen,.,The verb and active voice：,Emphasis,(重点突出),emphasis within sentence,(句内强调),e.g:,1) We planted many trees yesterday.,2) Many trees were planted yesterday,.,The verb and active voice：,Emphasis,(重点突出),emphasis within sentence,(句内强调),e.g:,The professor walked into the classroom and he carried a bag of books with him.,1),The professor walked into the classroom, carrying a bag of books with him.,2),The professor walked into the classroom with a bag of books with him,.,Subordination：,Emphasis,(重点突出),emphasis within sentence,(句内强调),e.g:,1) Lee, a new student from a southern province, speaks a dialect which is difficult for us to understand.,2) Lee is a new student,. He comes from a southern province. He speaks a dialect. We find it hard to understand his dialect.,A series of short sentences：,Emphasis,(重点突出),emphasis within sentence,(句内强调),e.g:,1) This is the,very,dictionary I have been looking for.,2) The director,himself,told me this news.,3),Do,tell us about your recent progress.,4) What,on earth,are the children doing in the next room?,Emphatic words and phrases：,Emphasis,(重点突出),emphasis within sentence,(句内强调),e.g:,1) He came back safe and sound.,2) Next to health, heart, home, happiness for mobile Americans depends upon the automobile.,Alliteration: the appearance of the same consonant sound at the beginning of two or more words:,Variety,(句式多样),An occasional question, command, or exclamation among statements may also be helpful.,Variety can be achieved when short sentences are used in between long ones, simple sentences in between compound and complex ones, periodic sentences in between loose ones.,An occasional question, command, or exclamation among statements may also be helpful.,Variety,(句式多样),But variety is not to be sought for its own sake. The structure and length of sentences are primarily determined by the ideas to be expressed.,Assignment,Write a passage on the topic given in our textbook, and send it to me in the form of,word,of,pictures,