孤独是给自己成长的机会.doc

For me the most interesting thing about a solitarylife,and mine has been that for the last twenty years,isthat it becomes increasingly rewarding. When I canwake up and watch the sun rise over the ocean, as I do most days, and know that I have an entire dayahead,uninterrupted, in which to write a few pages, takea walk with my dog,lie down in the afternoon for a think(Why does one think better in a horizontal position?),read and listen to music, I am flooded with happiness.I am lonely only when I am overtired, when I have worked too long without a break, when for thetime beingI feel empty and need filling up.And I am lonely sometimes when I come back home aftera lecture trip, when I have seen a lot of people and talked a lot,and am full to the brim withexperience that needs to be sorted out.Then for a little while the house feels huge and empty, and I wonder where myself is hiding.It hasbeen recaptured slowly by watering the plants, perhaps, and looking again at each one as though itwere a person,by feeding the two cats, by cooking a meal.It takes a while, as I watch the surf blowing up in fountains at the end of the field, but the momentwhen the world falls away,and the self emerges again from the deep unconsciousness, bringing backall I have recently experienced to be explored and slowly understood,when I can converse againwith my hidden powers,andso grow, and so be rewarded, till death do us part.对我而言,独身生活中最有趣的也是我最近20年以来深有体会的，就是它使生活变得越来越有情调了。当我早展醒来看到太阳从大海上冉冉升起的时候，尽管我几乎每天都是如此，我就知道面前将有没人打搅的整整一天时间了。在这一天里，我可以悠闲地写几页文章，可以带着狗散散步,午后还可以躺下来思考思考问题(为什么平躺的时候更加有利于思考呢?)，看看书，听听音乐，心中洋溢着快乐之情。只有在我过度疲劳的时候，或是在我工作太久而没有休息的时候,或是在我当时觉得空虚因而需要充实的时候，我才会感到孤独。而有时，当我在外地演讲后赶回家的时候，当我和许多人见面并且交谈甚多的时候，当许多经历多得要溢出来，因而需要整理的时候，我才会感到孤独。那个时候，房子一度让人觉得太大、太空，而我却不知道自我藏身于何处。也许通过给花草浇水，并对其逐一端详，好像端详人一样;也许通过喂那两只猫和做一餐饭，我才能又慢慢捕捉到自我了。 过了一会儿，我看到地平线的尽头海浪如泉水般喷涌，那一刻，世界消逝殆尽了，而自我从深层的无意识中再一次浮现，这才使我想起最近所经历的一切，让我去探究、去愎慢了解。此时，我又能与隐藏的力量交流了，于是我又在成长，并在成长中得到回报，直到死亡将我们分开。