商务英语写作概述

,单击此处编辑母版标题样式,*,本讲义供嘉铭公司内训专用,*,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,2024/9/15,1,BUSINESS WRITING,商务英语写作,Course Outline,2024/9/15,2,Text Book,商务英语写作,(,修订版,),BUSINESS ENGLISH WRITING,胡英坤 车丽娟 主编,外语教学与研究出版社,2013.8,2024/9/15,3,Contents,1 An Overview of Business Writing,2,Structure and Style of Business Letters,3 Sales-related,Inquiries,and,Replies,4,Orders,and Confirmation Letters,5,Letters about Shipment,商,务,信函的结构与格式,商,务写作概述,询,盘,与,回复,订单与确认函,装运函,2024/9/15,4,6 Letters About Payment and Settlement of Accounts,7 Routine Claims and Adjustment,8 Persuasive Claims and Refusals,9,Sales Letters,10,Invitation and Thank-you Letters,付款与结帐函,日常,投诉与,理,赔,邀请函与感谢信,销售函,说服性索赔与拒绝函,2024/9/15,5,11,Letters of Apology and Congratulation,12,Notice and Announcement,13,Memos and Minutes,14 Preparing resumes,15 Letters of Application,道歉信与祝贺信,通知与通告,备忘录与会议记录,准备简历,申请信,2024/9/15,6,16 Letters of Recommendation,17 Proposals,18 Organizing and Preparing Reports,19,Questionnaires,20,Business,Agree,ments,意向书,商务,协议,调查问卷,推荐信,报告,2024/9/15,7,BUSINESS WRITING,商务英语写作,An Overview of Business Writing,Unit,1,商,务写作概述,2024/9/15,8,Why to improve writing skills,？,The,ability to write effectively,is a valuable business,asset,.,Three,reasons,:,1) business is transacted in writing;,2) writing effectively helps increase,company sales and profit;,3) proficiency in writing gives a personal,advantage,2024/9/15,9,Tasks of this chapter,. Functions of Business Writing,. Criteria for Effective Business Writing,. Modern Changes,. Basic Patterns of Writing,2024/9/15,10,Every business message is designed to achieve a specific business objective. Its success depends on what it says and to what extent it induces a favorable response from the reader.,2024/9/15,11,I. Functions of Business Writing,B,usiness writing has three functions:,To inform,To influence,To entertain,2024/9/15,12,To inform,Messages to inform are used to convey the vast amount of information needed to complete the day-to-day operations of the business.,e.g. explain instructions to employees, announce meetings and procedures, acknowledge orders, accept contracts for services, etc.,2024/9/15,13,The major purpose of most of these messages is to have the receiver understand a body of information and concentrate on the logical presentation of the content.,2024/9/15,14,To influence,A business message must also influence the readers attitudes and actions.,e.g. letters promoting a product or service and seeking support for ideas and worthy causes presented to supervisors, stockholders, customers/clients, and others.,2024/9/15,15,To entertain,To secure the desired response, it is necessary to have an adequate,knowledge of the English language,and an understanding of,human nature,.,The writer should have an acquaintance with the particular,interest,and, if possible, the,emotions,of the reader.,2024/9/15,16,It seems easy enough, for example, to ask payment of a bill, but it is quite difficult to secure payment without offending the reader and losing his or her future,patronage,.,No communication is wholly successful unless it retains the readers,goodwill,.,2024/9/15,17,Functions of Business Writing,(1),To inform,convey informationexplain instruction, announce meetings and procedures, acknowledge orders, accept contract,(2) To influence,affect the readers attitudes and actions,(3) To entertain,retain the readers goodwill,2024/9/15,18,Criteria for Effective Business Writing,Successful business message,:,(,1) the receiver interprets the message,as the sender intended it,(2) it achieves the senders purposes.,2024/9/15,19,II. Criteria for Effective Business Writing,6/7Cs,Courtesy,Correctness,Conciseness,Consideration,Clarity,Concreteness,Completeness,2024/9/15,20,Courtesy,Being very,polite, even in asking the addressee to pay back the debts or refusing his demands, your letter still should be very mild and tactful.,Being,prompt,in replying to the opposite parts letter. The reply should usually be sent on the same day. If it is impossible for you to give a prompt reply in detail on the same day, you should write a short not to the client explaining why.,Goodwill Effects:,friendly, courteous things that make relations between people enjoyable.,2024/9/15,21,2024/9/15,22,Example 1,Dear Sirs, we are sorry you have misunderstood us. (),Dears Sirs, we are sorry we didnt make ourselves clear.,(),We cannot understand why you have had trouble with these articles. (),We presume that there must be some reasons for you having trouble with these articles. (),2024/9/15,23,I write to send my congratulations.,Congratulations to you on your promotion!,We wont be able to send you the brochure this month.,We will send you the brochure next month.,2024/9/15,24,Your letter is not clear at all. I cant understand it.,If I understand your letter correctly (tactful),Using your-viewpoint,-a technique for building goodwill,-emphasizes the readers interest and concerns.,2024/9/15,25,2024/9/15,26,Different Attitudes,We/I,attitude,You,attitude,A large sale of,our,products will make,our,company more profitable.,We,are in need of fund and you must pay ,We,can not offer you any refund,Obviously,you forget telling us,the color,A good sale of the products will benefit,you.,To maintain,your,excellent credit, please remit,You,could obtain a refund if ,Please indicate,your,choice of color,2024/9/15,27,Examples of You-attitude,We-view point,1. I am happy to report,2. We are please to have your new account,3. We make Willet razor in three weightslight, medium, and heavy,.,You-view point,1. You will happy to know ,2. Your new charge account is,now open for your,convenience .,3. So that you can choose the one,razor that is just right for your,beard, Willet makes razors for,you in three weightslight,medium, and heavy.,Taking a positive tone,2024/9/15,28,2024/9/15,29,Project a Positive, Tactful Tone,Chapter 3,2024/9/15,30,Project a positive , tactful tone (1),1. State ideas using positive language,Speak of what can be done instead of what cannot be done, of the pleasant instead of the unpleasant,Positive words make messages more diplomatic and promote positive human relation,Think of examples of negative language you have heard that could be easily be stated using positive words.,2024/9/15,31,Dont forget to,submit your report ,We,cant,ship your goods until,You,neglect,to indicate the specification ,1. State ideas using positive language,Remember to submit ,You will receive your goods ,Please send the complete specification ,2024/9/15,32,Negative,attitude,Positive,attitude,We cannot deliver your order on schedule because of the earthquake.,Now that we are short of funds, we have to put the proposed project aside.,We will deliver your order when the road resumes to traffic.,If we solve the financial problem, we will start the project.,2024/9/15,33,2. Avoid using second person when stating negative ideas,You made numerous mistakes on this page.,You keyed a perfect copy.,( preferred),This page contain numerous mistakes.,( preferred),2024/9/15,34,3. Use passive voice to convey negative ideas,Suburo did not proofread this proposal carefully,Suburo completed the job two months behind the schedule,Suburo completed the job two months ahead of the schedule,The proposal was not proofread carefully,The job was completed two months behind the schedule,The job was completed two months ahead of the schedule,2024/9/15,35,4. Use the subjunctive mood,Negative,I cannot accept the recommendation,I am not able to accept your invitation,Subjunctive Mood,I wish I could accept the recommendation,I could accept your invitation if I were to cancel my meeting on,2024/9/15,36,5. Include a pleasant statement in the same sentence,Your personal ratings for communication ability were satisfactory.,Your personal ratings for communication ability were satisfactory,but your rate for technical competence was excellent.,Being conversational,2024/9/15,37,Conversational language,Dull and stiff,Please be advised that your should sign the form before the 1st.,Kindly advise at an early date.,I herewith hand you ,Thanking you in advance ,Conversational,Please sign the form before the 1,st,.,Please let me know soon.,Here is ,Ill sincerely appreciate,2024/9/15,39,Correctness,Correct grammar, punctuation and spelling are basic requirements for business writing, In addition, correctness means choosing the correct level of language, and using accurate information and data.,2024/9/15,40,Example 2,Enclosed is the copy of receipt. (),Enclosed is a copy of the receipt. (),I am looking for another sales channels. (),I am looking for other sales channels. (),2024/9/15,41,A. with pronouns.,Our competitors were most successful,than ours. (us),B. with adjectives.,The two first ( first two) items are not available.,2024/9/15,42,C. with article.,We are interested in same. (the same),D. with verbs.,Neither of the offers are (is) acceptable.,A block of flats are (is) being built.,2024/9/15,43,E. with adverbs.,We had a quite (quite a) successful meeting.,F. with conjunctions.,He not only built (built not only) houses, but also flats.,2024/9/15,44,G. with participles,While studying the report, the telephone rang.,(insert “I was” between while and studying),While I was studying the report, the telephone rang.,Special attention should also be paid to names of article, specifications, quantity, figures, units, etc.,2024/9/15,45,Avoid Sentence Faults,See the following examples:,Avoid fragments (,不完整的句子,).,Avoid comma splices,（逗号拼接句）,.,Avoid run-on sentences,（连写句）,.,Eliminate misplaced elements.,Eliminate dangling modifiers(,垂悬修饰语,) .,2024/9/15,46,Avoid fragments,A sentence fragment lacks either a subject (Actor) or verb (Action).,My,research report in business communication took a long time to prepare. And turned out badly.,My,research report in business communication took a long time to prepare, but it turned out badly.,2024/9/15,47,Avoid comma splices,A comma splice results when two sentences are incorrectly joined or spliced together with a comma.,Profits were down in 2005, the Board blamed the recession.,Profits were down in 2005. The Board blamed the recession.,2024/9/15,48,Avoid run-on sentences,A run-on sentence joins two complete thoughts without proper punctuation.,Employees want to keep their jobs they will work hard for promotions.,Employees want to keep their jobs. They will work hard for promotions.,Eliminate misplaced elements,We have taken the check to the bank ,which was unsigned.,The three year budgets are being returned to the strategic planning committee, which have some serious defects.,We have taken the check which was unsigned to the bank.,The three year budgets, which have some serious defects, are being returned to the committee.,Eliminate dangling modifiers,To create that bar chart, the information must be keyed into a spreadsheet (,电子数据表,)file.,Although tied up, the feasibility report had to be completed.,To create that bar chart, you must key the information into a spreadsheet file.,Although she was tied up, Sonia had to complete the feasibility report.,2024/9/15,51,Conciseness,Effective writing is conciseeach word, sentence, and paragraph counts. Conciseness means to write in the fewest possible words without sacrificing completeness and courtesy.,Conciseness will give emphasis to your message.,Time is money.,2024/9/15,52,Communicate concisely,1. Eliminate redundancies,Redundancy: a phrase in which one word unnecessarily repeat an idea contained in an companying word.,e. g.,exactly,identical,past,history,advance,forward,brief,summary,honest,truth,hot,water,heater,2024/9/15,53,Communicate concisely(2),2. Use active voice to reduce the number of words,3. Include only essential information,4. Eliminate clichs that are often wordy and not necessary to understand the message,5. Do not restate ideas that are sufficiently implied,6. Use suffixes or prefixes,7. Use compound adjectives,2024/9/15,54,Example 3,We do not anticipate any increase in prices,in the near future,. (Poor),We do not expect prices to rise,soon,. (Better),Owing to the fact that,your competitors price is much lower than yours, we cannot accept your offer. (Poor),Because,your competitors price is much lower than yours, we cannot accept your offer. (Better),2024/9/15,55,Shorten wordy expressions,.,We have begun to export our machines,to countries abroad,.,We have begun to,export,our machines .,2024/9/15,56,Use words to replace phrases or clauses.,In the event that,you speak to Mr Wood,in regard to,production, ask him to,give consideration to,the delivery schedule.,If,you speak to Mr Wood,about,production, ask him to,consider,the delivery schedule.,2024/9/15,57,We require furniture,which is of the new type.,We require,new-type,furniture.,2024/9/15,58,Example,Cluttering words,At the present time,For the purpose of,For the reason that,An accordance with,In the near future,In view of the fact that,Concise substitutions,Now,For,Since, because,By,Soon,Since, because,2024/9/15,59,Example,Cluttering words,On the basis,On the occasion of,With a view to,With regard to, with reference to,Prior to,Concise substitutions,By,On,To,About,before,2024/9/15,60,Surplus words,There are five rules that should be observed.,Five rules should be observed.,In the period between June and August they found the error.,B,etween June and August they found the error.,2024/9/15,61,Repetition,It came,at a time,when we were busy.,It came when we were busy.,Jewelry depreciate,in value,slowly.,Jewelry depreciate slowly.,It will cost,a sum of,$130.,It will cost $130.,2024/9/15,62,He asked about a,certain,person by the name of Bill Jones.,He asked about a person by the name of Bill Jones.,We met in the city of Columbus that year.,We met in Columbus that year.,The cellphone sells for the price of $79.99.,The cellphone sells for $79.99.,2024/9/15,63,Our new model is longer,in length,than the old one.,Our new model is longer than the old one.,The consensus,of opinion,is that the tax is unfair.,The consensus is that the tax is unfair.,2024/9/15,64,Clarity,Clarity tells the reader exactly what he or she wants and needs to know, using words and a format that make your writings totally understood with just one reading.,Short, familiar words and simple, short sentences rather than long, difficult words and complex and long sentences are better for this purpose.,Time is money.,2024/9/15,65,Example 4,They have a decided advantage in regard to,freight,. (Poor),They have a decided advantage in regard to,freight charges,(,运费,). (Better),They informed Messrs. Smith and Richardson that,they,would receive an answer in a few days. (Poor),They informed Messrs. Smith and Richardson that,the latter,would receive an answer in a few days. (Better),货运；运费；船货,2024/9/15,66,freight freit n.,1. goods carried by a large vehicle,2. transporting goods commercially at rates cheaper than express rates,3. the charge for transporting something by common carrier we pay the freight the freight rate is usually cheaper,2024/9/15,67,The ship stopped here to take in,freight,.,这艘船在这里停泊,装货,。,Please quote us prices including insurance and,freight,to Vancouver.,请报包括到温哥华的保险和,运费,的价格。,France derives 16% of revenue from air,freight,.,法国国家税收的,16%,来自于航空,货运,。,2024/9/15,68,Concreteness,Your writing should be vivid, specific and definite rather than vague, general and abstract, especially when you are requiring a response, solving problems, making an offer or acceptance, etc.,2024/9/15,69,Example,Our apples are excellent.,Our apples are juicy, crispy and tender. (Concrete),Smithton Company is our big buyer.,Smithton Company did more than one million USD worth of business with us in 2005. (Concrete),2024/9/15,70,These brakes can stop a car within a short distance.,These Goodson power brakes can stop a 2-ton car within 24 feet.,A decision has been made to set up an office in Osaka.,The board of directors decoded to set up an office in Osaka.,2024/9/15,71,Completeness,Include all the necessary information and data in the message because information and data can help senders get receivers responses and achieve desired objectives. An incomplete message may result in:,increased communication costs;,loss of goodwill, sales, and valued customers;,cost of returning goods;,wasted time trying to make sense out of the incomplete message.,2024/9/15,72,Example 6,Suppose you are writing a letter to your supplier telling him that his goods were not delivered on time. What kind of information should you include in your letter?,2024/9/15,73,Complete message,Reminding him of his promise of timely delivery.,What losses has this caused you?,Asking for compensation if there is any agreement on that.,Expecting no such thing will happen again.,2024/9/15,74,III. Modern Changes,Goodwill Effects:,friendly, courteous things that make relations between people enjoyable.,Other Effects:,persuasion/ emphasis/ downplay,2024/9/15,75,Suggestions:,1. Conversational style,2. Informal style,3. Avoid the old language of business,4. You-viewpoint (you-attitude)* Avoid insincerity,2024/9/15,76,suggestions,5. Accent on positive language,6. Singling out your reader,7. Using the readers names,8. Avoid anger,2024/9/15,77,IV. Basic Patterns of Writing,Directness in Good-news and Routine Messages,(,deductive approach,),Indirectness in Bad-news messages and persuasion or sales letters,(,inductive approach,),演绎法,归纳法,直接法,间接法,2024/9/15,78,Directness in Writing,Three parts:,1,）,begin with the major idea,2,）,provide supporting details after the main idea,3,）,end with goodwill.,2024/9/15,79,Dear Mr. Johnson,Will you do George Baryon and me the favor of providing an evaluative report on him? He is an assistant shipping clerk with you, who wants to manage a branch for us. He has authorized this inquiry.,How well does he know packing and hauling techniques?,How do you judge his administrative ability to run an office of one secretary and a work force of five?,What is your appraisal of his ability to meet customers and generally build goodwill with the community?,As a final question, is there anything else you can tell me that might indicate whether Mr. Baryon is the right person for our job?,I will be grateful for your answers. Of course, whatever you report will be held in close confidence.,INQUIRIES ABOUT PEOPLE,Dear Mr. Johnson,Will you do George Baryon and me the favor of providing an evaluative report on him? He is an assistant shipping clerk with you, who wants to manage a branch for us. He has authorized this inquiry.,How well does he know packing and hauling techniques?,2024/9/15,80,How do you judge his administrative ability to run an office of one secretary and a work force of five?,What is your appraisal of his ability to meet customers and generally build goodwill with the community?,As a final question, is there anything else you can tell me that might indicate whether Mr. Baryon is the right person for our job?,2024/9/15,81,I will be grateful for your answers. Of course, whatever you report will be held in close confidence.,Sincerely yours,2024/9/15,82,2024/9/15,83,Indirectness in Writing,Guidelines for Bad-news Messages,Four parts:,A buffer;,Reasons supporting the negative decision;,A clear, diplomatic statement of the negative decision;,A helpful, friendly, and positive close.,2024/9/15,84,Congratulations on Setting a New Sales Record Last Month!,Your All-out Efforts Are Apparent to All of Us.,As you know, for the past three years we have held