一词多义的英语笑话50篇ppt课件

英语一词多义笑话50篇英语一词多义笑话50篇1.Youarejustafool.Icantbearyou.-Butyourmothercan.（homonymy）2.（In a restaurant）-Waiter,the eggs must have gone bad.-Sorry,I only laid the table.（polysemy）3.Farmer:Ifyouwanttospendthenighthere,youllhavetomakeyourownbed.Travelingsalesman:Thatsperfectlyallright.Farmer:Heresahammerandsaw.Goodnight.（polysemy）4.Wecantgetdownfromelephants.Wecanonlygetdownfromducks（homonymy）1.You are just a fool.I can5.Marriageisaninstitutionwhereamanloseshisbachelorsdegreeandawomangetshermasters.（homonymy）6.-Ifyouwantmydaughtertomarryyou.Youshouldatleasttellmeonethingpositiveaboutyou.-IamHIVpositive.（polysemy）7.Uglywoman:DontyouthinkImbeautiful?Photographe:Theanswerliesinthenegative.（homonymy）8.Yourbrainhastwoparts,theleftpartandtherightpart.Therightparthasnothingleft,andtheleftparthasnothingright.Didyouhearabouttheguywhosewholeleftsidewascutoff?Hesallrightnow（homonymy）5.Marriage is an institution w9.TouristswanttofindsomeonetotakepicturesTourists:Excuseme!Areyoufree?prostitute:Ofcoursenot.Imnotfree.Tourists:why?prostitute:Im200hundredRMBforonenight,or30dollarsforwholeday（polysemy）10.Ayoungboygoestosocialservicesandtellsthemhehasnowheretolive.Whataboutyourparents?asksthesocialworker.No,theybeatme,saystheboy.Whataboutyourgrandparents?saysthesocialworker.No,theybeatmeevenharder!saystheboy.Well.wheredoyouwanttostaythen?repliesthesocialworker.Tottenham,saystheboy.Theydontbeatanyone.（polysemy）11.Adrunkguyapproachesacutegirlinasinglesbar.HiBabe,howaboutadate?Hesays.Dontwasteyourtime.Inevergooutwithaperfectstranger.Itseemswearebothinluck.Imfarfromperfect.（polysemy）9.Tourists want to find someon12.Arichmanwenttohislawyerandsaid“IwouldliketomakeawillbutIdontknowexactlyhowtogoaboutit.”Thelawyersays“Dontworry.Leaveitalltome.”Themanlookssomewhatupset.“WellIknewyouweregoingtotakethebiggestslicebutIdliketoleavealittletomychildrentoo!”（polysemy）13.Adown-and-outmusicianwasplayingtheviolininthemiddleofabigshoppingmall.Hehadhisviolincaseopensothatpassersbycoulddropindonations.Thenaburlysecurityguardmarchedoverandaskedhim,MayIseeyourpermit?Ihaventgotone,themusicianconfessed.Inthatcaseyoullhavetoaccompanyme.Splendid.Whatshallwesing?（polysemy）14.Ahugecollegefreshmandecidedtotryoutforthefootballteam.Canyoutackle?askedthecoach.Watchthis,saidthefreshman,whoproceededtorunsmackintoatelephonepoleandcompletelyknockedoutitover.Wow,saidthecoach,Imimpressed.Canyourun?OfcourseIcanrun,saidthefreshman.Hewasofflikeashot,andinjustover9secondsrana100-yarddash.Great,thecoachsaid.Butcanyoupassafootball?Thefreshmanhesitatedforasecond.Well,sir,hesaid,IfIcanswallowit,Icanprobablypassit.（polysemy）12.A rich man went to his lawy15.Amedicalstudententeredapatientsroomcarryingasyringe.Asheapproachedthepatientsbed,hesaid,Justalittleprickwithaneedle.Iknowwhoyouare,thepatientrelied,butwhatareyougoingtodo?（polysemy）16.Anerdlywomanhadtwosmallterriers,onemale,theotherfemale.Whenthefemaleterrierdied,themaleterrierwasheartbroken,andhediedthenextday.Shetookthetwocarcassestothetaxidermistsothattheycouldbepreserved.Thetaxidermistasked,Doyouwantthemmounted?Shereplied,No,butcouldyouhavethispawinhers?（polysemy）17.Ajudgeisaddressingthehusbandinadivorcecase.MrJohnson,IhavereviewedthiscasecarefullyandIhavedecidedtogiveyourwife$2,000amonth.Thehusbandreplies,Thatsverygenerousofyou,yourhonor,and,believeme,Illtrytohelpoutalittlemyselfnowandthen.（polysemy）18.Mymotherandfatherareinthesteelandironbusiness.Whatdotheydo?（polysemy）15.A medical student entered a19.Iwroteabookaboutwatch-makingeveryonesaiditwasabouttime（polysemy）20.Teacher:George,canyougivemelincolnsGettysburgAddress?George:No,butheusedtoliveattheWhiteHouseinWashingD.C.（polysemy）21.Whywasitsohotafterthebaseballgame?-Allthefansleft（polysemy）22.Whathappenstoafleawhenitbecomesreallyangry?Itgetshoppingmad.23.Judge:Haveyoueverappearedbeforethiscourtinanyothersuit?Lawyer:Why,yes.thenavypinstripe.（polysemy）24.Dopeoplefishwithapermitinthisarea?-No,wefishwithabait.25.WevegotthekindofPresidentwhothinksarmscontrolmeanssomekindofdeodorant（polysemy）19.I wrote a book about watch-26.Athlete:Imgoingtowriteanarticleonjogging.Editor:Fine.Butdontuseanyrun-onsentences.27.Mary:whyareyoubringingajumpropetoschool?Terry:ImgoingtoasktheprincipalifIcanskipagrade.(synonymy)28.Madge:Ivebeenaskedtomarrythousandsoftimes.Mindy:Really?Whoaskedyou?Madge:Mymotherandfather.（polysemy）29.WhatdidtheAtlanticOceansaytothePacificOcean?Nothing,theyjustwaved（polysemy）30.Constructioncompanyneedsamantodigholes-Groundlevelpositionavailable.（polysemy）26.Athlete:Im going to write31.Father:Whatshouldyoudowhenyouseeourflagwaving?littleboy:Waveback.（polysemy）32.Marykissedherauntgood-byebutherauntdidntkissherback.Why?Herauntkissedherface（polysemy）33.Nothjngcanmendabrokenheart”Ahopelesswidowersaid“Exceptrepairing，”Awidowanswered（polysemy）34Thefarmerwhosepigwaskilledbyanautomobile，wasravingmad“Dontworry，”saidthemotorist，tryingtopacifybereavedowner,Illreplaceyourpig”“No。youcant。”growledthefarmer“youaintfatenough”（polysemy）35.Wehavecoursestomakegrowthmenyoungandyoungmengroan(homophones)31.Father:What should you do36.Moneydoesntgrowontrees.Butitgrowsatourbranches.（polysemy）37.Abicyclecantstandonitsownbecauseitistwo-tyred.Abicyclecantstandonitsownbecauseitistwo-tyred.(tootired)(homophones)38.Over500000earsofexperiencesHucares！(homophones)39.Waitress：Doyouwantacan,sir(cancer)?(homophones)40.Therearefourletterstoscarethethiefaway:OICUSevendayswithoutlaughtermakesoneweak(week).(homophones)36.Money doesnt grow on trees41.A:Didyourpigbreakhispen?B:Thatsright.Nowhehastotypehisletters（polysemy）42.TeacherofCivics:WhoistheSpeakeroftheHouse?Smartkid:Mother43.“Waiter!”“Yes,sir.”“Whatsthis?”“Itsbeansoup,sir.”“Nomatterwhatitsbeen.Whatisitnow?”(homophones)44.Donna:Hessoromantic.Everytimehespeakstomehestartswith“fair(free)lady”.Tina:Romantic,myeye.Heusedtobeabusdriver.(homophones)45.Haveyounoticedhowsomestudentswhogetpoorgradesseldomporeovertheirbooksbutstillfindtimetopourbeerorstrongerstuffinthemselves?(homophones)41.A:Did your pig break hi46.“Mybusinessisgoingupinsmoke,”complainedthecigar-maker.”“Mineisallwrite(right),”chuckledtheauthor.“Mineisjustsew,sew(justsoso),”remarkedthetailor.(homophones)47.Myboss,anativeofAtlanta,oncesaidtome:“AndIusuallycooktheboldshrimp.”ThenIasked,”Istheshrimpinabowlorisitextremelyforward?”“No,no,”shereplied.“BOLDshrimp.”FinallyIaskedhertospellitforme,“Bold,”sherepeated.“Youknow,B-O-I-L-E-D.”(homophones)48.Clerk:Sir,Idlikemysalaryraised.Boss:Well,dontworry.Iveraiseditsomehoweveryweeksofar,haventI?（polysemy）49.Husband:Ihavebadnewstotell.Wife:Whatsup?Husband:YourauntsaysinherletterthatherLittleKatiehasgrownanotherfoot.（polysemy）50.Amanwhowasinvolvedinaseriousmotorcycleaccidentwasunabletospeakwhenhefirstregainedconsciousness.Wishingtoknowhowlonghehadbeenunconscious,hetookapieceofpaperandapencilfromthebed-standand,afterwriting“Date?”onit,gaveittohisnurse.Shehandeditbacktohimaftershehadwritingtheword“Married”onit.（polysemy）46.“My business is going up inthank you!