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The Shadowland of DreamsAlex Haley The text is selected from Chicken Soup for the Soul at Work (Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Maida Rogerson, Martin Rutte & Tim Clauss). close1RT Many a young person tells me he wants to be a writer. I always encourage such people, but I also explain that theres a difference between being a writer and writing. In most cases these individuals are dreaming of wealth and fame, not the long hours alone at the type-writer. Youve got to want to write, I say to them, not want to be a writer.追梦亚历克斯哈利很多年轻人告诉我，他们想当作家。我总是鼓励这些人，但我也会解释，“当作家”和写作是有区别的。在多数情况下，这些人是在梦想名利，而不是在打字机前独自度过漫长的时间。我对他们说，“你得渴望写作，而不是渴望当作家。”close2RT The reality is that writing is a lonely, private and poor-paying affair. For every writer kissed by fortune, there are thousands more whose longing is never rewarded. Even those who succeed often know long periods of neglect and poverty. I did.孤独、冷清、低薪，这就是写作的现实写照。幸运之神会眷顾一些作家，但数以千计的人心中的渴望永远无法满足。就算是成功者，大多也曾长期无人问津、穷困潦倒，包括我。close3RT When I left a 20-year career in the Coast Guard to become a freelance writer, I had no prospects at all. What I did have was a friend with whom Id grown up in Henning, Tennessee. George found me my home a cleaned-out storage room in the Greenwich Village apartment building where he worked as superintendent. It didnt even matter that it was cold and had no bathroom. Immediately I bought a used manual typewriter and felt like a genuine writer.我离开工作了20年的美国海岸警备队成为一名自由作家时，前途一片渺茫。唯一拥有的是一个儿时的朋友乔治，他跟我在田纳西州的亨宁一起长大。乔治在格林尼治村公寓看门，他在那里帮我找了间腾出来的储藏室。那儿很冷，又没有卫生间，可是我不在乎。我马上买了一部二手的打字机，感觉就像一个真正的作家了。close4RT After a year or so, however, I still hadnt received a break and began to doubt myself. It was so hard to sell a story that I barely made enough to eat. But I knew I wanted to write. I had dreamed about it for years. I wasnt going to be one of those people who die wondering, What if? I would keep putting my dream to the test even though it meant living with uncertainty and fear of failure. This is the Shadowland of hope, and anyone with a dream must learn to live there.然而，过了一年左右还没有时来运转，我开始怀疑自己。作品很难卖出去，我只能勉强维持生计，但我知道，我渴望写作，多少年来我一直梦想着写作。我不要像有些人一样，临死时还想，“假如”我要坚持不懈地试验着我的梦，哪怕衣食无着，害怕失败，也决不放弃。这是希望的阴影地带，每个有梦的人都必须学会在那里安居。close5RT Then one day I got a call that changed my life. It wasnt an agent or editor offering a big contract. It was the opposite, a kind of siren call tempting me to give up my dream. On the phone was an old acquaintance from the Coast Guard, now stationed in San Francisco. He had once lent me a few bucks and liked to egg me about it. When am I going to get the 15, Alex? he teased.一天，我接到一个电话，我的一生从此改变。不是经纪人或编辑打来要和我签一份大额合同。刚好相反，这个电话像海妖的歌声，诱使我放弃梦想。打电话的是海岸警备队的一个老熟人，警备队现在设在旧金山。他借过一些钱给我，不时提起这件事。“我什么时候才能拿回那15块钱啊，亚历克斯？”他揶揄道。close6RT Next time I make a sale.“等我下次卖了稿子吧。”close7RT I have a better idea, he said. We need a new public-information assistant out here, and were paying 6,000 a year. If you want it, you can have it.他说，“我有个更好的主意。我们这里要新招一个公共信息助理，年薪六千。想要的话，这位子就是你的了。”close8RT Six thousand a year! That was real money in 1960. I could get a nice apartment, a used car, pay off debts and maybe save a little something. Whats more, I could write on the side.一年六千！在1960年，那可是一大笔钱了。我可以买套不错的房子，一辆二手车，还清所有的债，甚至还可以有点积蓄，而且我还可以在业余时间写作。close9RT As the dollars were dancing in my head, something cleared my senses. From deep inside a bull-headed resolution welled up. I had dreamed of being a writer full time. And thats what I was going to be. Thanks, but no, I heard myself saying. Im going to stick it out and write.钞票在我脑海中舞动，但我的头脑蓦地清醒了。从内心深处，一个固执的决定涌上心头。我的梦想是要当作家，全职作家。我一定要实现梦想。“谢谢，我不去，”我听到自己在这样说，“我要坚持写作。”close10RT Afterward, as I paced around my little room, I started to feel like a fool. Reaching into my cupboard an orange crate nailed to the wall I pulled out all that was there: two cans of sardines. Plunging my hands in my pockets, I came up with 18 cents. I took the cans and coins and jammed them into a crumpled paper bag. There Alex, I said to myself. Theres everything youve made of yourself so far. Im not sure I ever felt so low.放下电话，我在小小的房间里踱着步，开始觉得自己像个傻瓜。我把手伸进壁橱（一个钉在墙上的装桔子的板条箱），拿出里面所有的东西：两个沙丁鱼罐头。我把手伸进口袋，找到了18分钱。我把罐头和硬币塞进一个皱巴巴的纸袋。我对自己说，看吧，亚历克斯，这就是你的全部家当了。我觉得前所未有的沮丧。close11RT I wish I could say things started getting better right away. But they didnt. Thank goodness I had George to help me over the rough spots.我希望我可以说，情况马上有了好转，可是没有。幸亏还有乔治帮我渡过难关。close12RT Through him I met other struggling artists, like Joe Delaney, a veteran painter from Knoxville, Tennessee. Often Joe lacked food money, so hed visit a neighborhood butcher who would give him big bones with small pieces of meat, and a grocer who would hand him some withered vegetables. Thats all Joe needed to make his favorite soup.通过他，我认识了一些正在苦苦奋斗的艺术家，比如乔德莱尼，绘画多年，来自田纳西的诺克斯维尔。乔经常穷得连食物都买不起，所以他会去附近的一家肉店，那屠夫会给些沾着肉末的大骨头；他还去杂货店，店主会给他一些蔫了的蔬菜。用这些，乔就可以做他喜爱的汤了。close13RT Another Village neighbor was a handsome young singer who ran a struggling restaurant. Rumor had it that if a customer ordered steak, the singer would dash to a supermarket across the street to buy one. His name was Harry Belafonte.村里还有一位邻居，是个英俊的年轻歌手，开一家生意清淡的餐馆。据说，要是顾客点了牛扒，这歌手就会冲到街对面的超市里买一份回来。他的名字叫哈里贝拉方特。close14RT People like Delaney and Belafonte became role models for me. I learned that you had to make sacrifices and live creatively to keep working at your dreams. Thats what living in the Shadowland is all about.德莱尼和贝拉方特等人成了我的楷模。我懂得了，要追求梦想，就得做出牺牲，有创意地生活。在梦想的阴影里生活就是这样的。close15RT As I absorbed the lesson, I gradually began to sell my articles. I was writing about what many people were talking about then: civil rights, black Americans and Africa. Soon, like birds flying south, my thoughts were drawn back to my childhood. In the silence of my room, I heard the voices of Grandma, Cousin Georgia, Aunt Plus, Aunt Liz and Aunt Till as they told stories about our family and slavery.我品味着这个教训，这时我文章的销路也慢慢好起来。我写的是当时街头巷尾大众谈论的话题：公民权利、美国黑人、非洲。很快，就像南归的鸟儿一样，我的思绪回到了童年。在寂静的房间里，我仿佛可以听见亲人的声音，祖母、乔治亚表姐、普卢思阿姨、利兹阿姨、蒂尔阿姨，在向我讲述我们的家族历史和奴隶制度。close16RT These were stories that black Americans had tended to avoid before, and so I mostly kept them to myself. But one day at lunch with editors of Readers Digest, I told these stories of my grandmother and aunts and cousins. I said that I had a dream to trace my familys history to the first African brought to these shores in chains. I left that lunch with a contract that would help support my research and writing for nine years.以前，美国黑人对这些故事避而不谈，所以我也很少向别人说起。但有一天，我与读者文摘的编辑们共进午餐时，我讲了祖母、阿姨和表姐她们的故事。我说，我有一个梦想，就是要追溯我的家族史，找到那戴着枷锁来到美国海岸的第一个非洲人。午餐结束时，我已经得到一份合同，资助我的调查与写作，为期九年。close17RT It was a long, slow climb out of the shadows. Yet in 1970, 17 years after I left the Coast Guard, Roots was published. Instantly I had the kind of fame and success that few writers ever experienced. The shadows had turned into dazzling limelight.爬出阴影所在，是一个漫长而艰难的过程。不过，到了1970年，我离开海岸警备队十七年之后，根发表了。一夜之间，我拥有了大多数作家都不曾拥有的名望和成功。阴影已经变成了令人目眩的聚光灯。close18RT For the first time I had money and open doors everywhere. The phone rang all the time with new friends and new deals. I packed up and moved to Los Angeles, where I could help in the making of the Roots TV mini-series. It was a confusing, exciting time, and in a sense, I was blinded by the light of my success.平生第一次，我有钱了，机会之门处处为我敞开。电话响个不停，总是有新的朋友，还有新的合约。我收拾好，搬到洛杉矶，协助拍摄根的电视系列短篇。这段时间，我应接不暇，令我精神振奋。在某种意义上，我被成功的光环蒙蔽了双眼。close19RT Then one day, while unpacking, I came across a box filled with things I had owned years before in the Village. Inside was a brown paper bag.有一天，整理行装时，我看到一个箱子，装的是多年前我在格林尼治村时的家当。里面有一只棕色的纸袋。close20RT I opened it, and there were two corroded sardine cans, a nickel, a dime and three pennies. Suddenly the past came flooding in like a tide. I could picture myself once again huddled over the typewriter in that cold, bleak, one-room apartment. And I said to myself, The things in this bag are part of my roots, too. I cant ever forget that.我打开来，看到两个锈迹斑斑的沙丁鱼罐头，一枚五分硬币，一枚十分硬币，三枚一分硬币。突然，往事潮涌而来。我仿佛看到自己又蜷缩在打字机前，在那个凄冷的单间里。我对自己说，这袋子里的东西也是我的一部分根。我可不能忘了。close21RT I sent them out to be framed. I keep that clear plastic case where I can see it every day. I can see it now above my office desk in Knoxville, along with the Pulitzer Prize, a portrait of nine Emmys awarded to the TV production of Roots, and the Spingarn medal the NAACPs highest honor. Id be hard pressed to say which means the most to me. But only one reminds me of the courage and persistence it takes to stay the course in the Shadowland.我请人把这些东西镶起来。我把这个透明塑料盒放在每天都能看到的地方。我现在就可以看到它，就放在诺克斯维尔的办公桌上方，放在一起的还有普利策奖杯，一张有电视版根所获九个艾美奖的照片，还有斯宾甘奖牌 “全国有色人种协进会”（NAACP）的最高荣誉。要是问我，哪一个对我意义最大，我会感到很难回答。但这中间，只有一样东西会提醒我，在梦想的阴影里坚持自己的方向需要怎样的勇气和毅力。close22RT Its a lesson anyone with a dream should learn.这个教训，每一个有梦的人都应该汲取。close
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