剧本、小品《荆轲刺秦》（The script, Jing Ke Qin sketch）

剧本、小品荆轲刺秦（The script, Jing Ke Qin sketch）The Emperor And The AssassinWedge (1)Scene: South gate.Fire God: old monster, you see today, I can not to fight!You de God: do you have a pipe of my business? Difficult, you can not flush the toilet, but also blame me water control adverse?Fire: go out, God flirt. I ask you, mortal thing, are you meddling?You de God: hum. When your peach assembly fajiufeng, secretly Xing Zhou eight hundred years fire, now I am fifty years Xing Qin Shui de you endless, is immortal also not you so narrow-minded!Fire God: when the emperor who me? But why did you send two water children to help Qin unify the world? Be careful where he was the emperor let you in the next life to!So God: the old turtle de Guiguzi too much! You said the six one out of a Weiwuji for a while, out of a bin, then out of a stream of his task, when will the rise of the water Lao Tzu de?Fire: a Xing Shui de God only add 30% of your salary, it is necessary to make the death of so many people? Besides, Kitani Koichisuke, mortal, what is your strength with him?!God: you underestimate de Guiguzi? Count on you is immortal, you may not be better than his wits! Two days ago and I cheated my mother Yuci Xiantao hide.Fire God: do you know your mount tau beast without the earth, as the reincarnation of Qin general Bai Qi, Changping battle pit kill Zhao soldiers 400 thousand people!God: whats you?Fire God: now the emperor is to pursue the matter, if. Hem.God: this, this de shui. I sent only the fallen flowers and the two boys in the water. They were respectively represented as Li Si and Wang, and went to help qin.Fire God: do not try to remedy, once the emperor know you do what you de God ah! I dont blame me not only to help you help the pain Daluoshuigou!You: Thank you brother de god. Wipe the sweat off your faceWedge (two)Narrator: when Qin and young Prince Dan are in a strong state after a stint as a hostage. Two personal grudges, from a woman called sweet flowers. The year before the high spirited Prince Dan, in the pursuit of flowers have a sweet, poem.Tasdan:The second third zhuangyuanlang,Cyril fame with pockets,Intestinal swordfish,Chibi fire jumped city wall!Gongshe Ri,Eight thousand. God heartbroken!To drink boiled rice,Yu Xian yu,No worse than broken houses!How can compare to,Three Li bridge outside embroidered niang!Narrator: on the other hand, Qin also deeply loved the innocent woman. Finally one day, he spent about Yanran, telling him his love love.Chin: sweet, I really love you very much, you marry me. (hand resting on the shoulders of sweet flowers)Sweet flowers: rogue. (Yinzheng off hand, turned and walked out of the screen.)Narrator: a casual and elegant bearing, early spring; a bold, popular literature or art. If you are the audience, who would you choose? Sweet flowers decided to follow back to Prince Dan yan. And on that day the flower sweet chin walk, looking at the changing clouds of the sky Speechless. He swore poison,In life, kill the country.When the command of the Qin Qin, Qin in the lonely still reminds me of the sweet flowers every twinkle and smile. But for the sweet flower of their alienation, Qin will all return to the wrong Prince Dans head. Poetry and so.Ying zheng:The autumn wind is relentless and tearing green,Spirit never breaks the human gut.It is difficult to bring wine, sing loudly, break into new houses, and plunder the bride.The silence turned people melancholy,Looking back, laughing, lying on the floor.Doesnt want to get the red curtains, kill the wolf, hate yuanyang!Narrator: after him in the volatile East, do not forget to throw the heart every day the wife took revenge tasdan.(I)Background: Qin Gong Yan has become the established policy of dominating the world. To this, YAN Dan made a bold decision!Dan: (shouting) I need a lot of assassins to kill him that gouzei! Come out, assassins! Serve the king!A: Assassin bad, assassination plan was found too! Run from left to right, shout while runningAssassin B: Oh, my God, Ive been hidden so well. Ive been found (down from behind to the former crown prince.)Third murderer: The Legend of Prince Dan superhuman powers, see today, not really. Thirty-six, Its politic to leave. (from left behind to the podium after the crown prince.)Tasdan: holding a piece of Speechless signs.Sweet flowers: (play, panic) king, it is too dangerous! Lets go and be an ordinary couple! The wicked man angry with you, menacing ah! Who says life is not popular literature or art highbrowism rich?Dan: are you saying. The king dont understand what you mean?Sweet flowers: King, chenqie do you understand. (Music)Tuo, birds, in, the, tree, make, love, everyday., One, bide, flys, the, sky, in, the, other, bird, educates, little, guy!Dan: (music show reverie look) I know how you feel, but you are in my way to heartless ah! The king is not as politically unworthy, but the national crisis, an array of ancestors, the king wants to make the final of a force of its own. In order to Yans people, this does not mean that Wang Hao a head, but in people in the country, broken up!Sweet flowers: in that case, the small woman oath and the king, with the trouble of life and death! (grief and indignation receded.)Dan: (sigh) oh. The prime minister, how I call you the assassin do?The Prime Minister: (from the back down with out) back to the king, with expert analysis, only the people regarded as Butch in!Tasdan: Butch people what, the king is extraordinary talent!The Prime Minister: (in time with the king only) to assassinate him personally.Dan: what do you mean?The Prime Minister: (Gong body go in front of the world, the crown prince) of the Dragon King in addition to outside but Im afraid no second person!Li: (stroking his beard) it makes sense. People come to the prime minister, commander of three salaries!King: thank the prime minister! (back) from the temple of Jing ke!(two)(Jing Ke with the guards on the hall, an ass sat on the throne of the crown prince)Jing Ke: sit down, please.Dan: (double-0 Jing Ke, then Prime Minister aside and asked) Butch this is what you say in person?The Prime Minister: Well, this is not what the culture of the first grade primary school, studying for three years.Li: so what do you think about him from top to bottom like a butch?The Prime Minister: there is a pigment industry specializing in. I dare to guarantee the king, the huge Chinese, cant find a second like Jing Ke after the king of hell kill expert.Too long the warrior name, see today, was a well deserved reputation!Jing Ke: I was a king of the lottery, this is the first time we met, whats the etiquette of the week, please forgive me!Dan: Qin soldiers arrives, the heroes must already know?Jing Ke: as you do our money, I contribute. I dont know anything else!Dan: I want you to kill a person!Jing Ke: I know you didnt come to invite me to dinner. Who are you going to kill?Dan: (silent for a while, after a while, the teeth jumped two words to him)!Jing Ke was silent and presented a thought.Dan: this extremely dangerous action, the success rate is close to zero. You have the right to cancel the order.Jing Ke: (sigh after) oh. I answer. Whoever lives or dies in the world, at least, should not be made by a killer. Just.Dan: just how?Jing Ke: I wont accept any money this time.Dan: why?Jing Ke: every killer has his own limitations. Once hes in control, hell take it.You are too restrictive?Jing Ke: I kill him! A heavy oath in front of the teacher. Life is our highest goal, guoqiuguhen, kill two birds with one stone!Tasdan: Would the warrior!Jing Ke: No, I have to have something ready first.Dan: need help, have any request, the king promised.Jing Ke: ask the king to write down this sentence!Dan: as good as gold, how dare eat them?Jing Ke: not early, the king, Im going to leave you now. (Prime Minister up)The Prime Minister:? King, thats a professional, isnt it?Dan: outstanding figures! If only I had more warriors like this in my country! Oh!The prime minister King: why sigh?Dan: I remember just to the promise, do not have meaning!The Prime Minister: King to these things dont affect the mood!Tasdan: the rise and fall of the country, how are things?The Prime Minister: the king was to! He really admires me! A king Yin Jun Liang this, I Yan Fu people ah!Dan: you also go to rest.The Prime Minister: Thank you for the king! The kings love, so thats as long as a pledge, inspiring, filled with wisdom! In this case, how can you be tired?Dan: Ai Qing, I Yan pillars Zhennai chen!(three)Jing Ke came to his masters quarters.Jing Ke: Master is on, disciple Jing Ke, come back to see you.You are a little turtle, Guiguzi outside the wild enough, rarely come back to visit your grandfather i!Jing Ke: how can a small turtle ever visit the old tortoise?Oh you little turtle: guiguzi,Dare you call me an old tortoise?Jing Ke: you call me a little turtle, and I call myself grandpa. Isnt that the old turtle?You are a little turtle, say less to play word games and i!Jing Ke: Well, Ill play another game with you.Guiguzi: OK, well, what do you want to play? Old turtle, I like playing games!Jing Ke: Master.Guiguzi: Hey, this is perhaps it seems you accompany me to finally play the game?Jing Ke: Master, do you know everything?Guiguzi: things in the world which I can escape a turtle eye of god! But, little turtle, you can play the game this time! Your grandfather, my old turtle, is too old to play with you! But what?.Jing Ke: ask the teacher for advice!The green turtle: Guiguzi chin wins world trend has been set! You do not Nitian trip, but still want to bet a! If successful, the old turtle is out of a foul smells!Jing Ke: master you and him, no, the green turtle enemy?Guiguzi: Damn it to Haitian gossip, not him, you two brother Zhang Yi and I how will go the opposite way? This victory, dead nature is your brother Zhang Yi the little turtle. You do not know, Zhang instrument, he is among my disciples, the most lovely, the most clever little turtle, three days ago, Zhang Gong, his mother also came to me, and I said homely. Is poor, you said a mother so much older, but neighbors like a blacksmith shop, a blacksmith all that trouble ah.Jing Ke: Master, paoti.The chin: Guiguzi cuckold tortoise was robbed by the wife, Crown Prince Dan of the tortoise grudge, but their most profit men fan period is also turned to the Prince Dan, you say, if you want to see him so, what should you do?Jing Ke: here it is. Fan general, hero of the world.Guiguzi: bah! A master can not choose the smelly rotten eggs, sweet potato, what the world hero? If in order to defend the people died, it was later to save all the turtle It is a worthy death., then blame him from Qin, while helping others secretly! Old turtle, I give you this doctrine, but also want to help him!Jing Ke: with the help of general fan, I can see the green hat turtle well.Guiguzi: no! Do you think that our little turtle is a vegetarian? Send a head to sing wine with you? Address each other as brothers? The little things, and certainly will think you are ill intent, to guard against.Jing Ke: then?!Guiguzi: let the crown prince to pay reparations, offer you the map at the meeting, in order to close the tortoise!Jing Ke: what about the land in Yan County?In Guiguzi: going out also care about that land? The little turtle is the little turtle, and he has none at all. By the way, what are you going to do to assassinate him?Jing Ke: hiding the poison dagger in the picture?The old way: Guiguzi with you! Many of my disciples belongs to you if you do not mind, the big brother in the bin will be able to come up with a very good way!Jing Ke: I hope the chef will do it!Guiguzi: I cant give the show away the old turtle! Think that year without a word that has angered Shang Yang by tying punishment. So, I Guiguzi although known as the seat of his fortune, but,You are the only one by now.Jing Ke: I understand the master difficulty, so I will use their own way to get rid of the threat of the people and property safety statement Yan zheng!Guiguzi: world division, spring and autumn and Warring states! You little turtle, promise me one thing!Jing Ke: Master, please say.Guiguzi: if the assassination failed, dont kill! Be sure to call my name three, and then there will be someone to rescue you!Jing Ke: ok!Guiguzi: you must do so!Jing Ke: when did the little turtle hear the old turtle?Guiguzi: (in the left The old man wept bitterly. said) may have life is never listen to a word I say. I dont have the chance to listen to me anymore. My life is the best day in Guiguzi, was one of the disciples did not keep! Alas!(four)Qin basilica.Chin: Chus wind became increasingly corrupt, it is time to discuss how to punish the annexation of the state of Chu. The Prime Minister Li Si, what do you think?Li Si: This is a military secret, and its better for you to discuss it with the general. Officials say the record to a commoner, then how to convince the public?Chin: General Wang Jian, would need to destroy Chu troops?Wang Jian: 500 thousand!Meng: hum!General Meng Ying Zheng: why hum?Wu: I destroy Chu, as long as 200 thousand!Wang Jian: houshengkewei ah!Mr. Meng: General Wang is a poor speaker! This is the Yangtze River bring forth the new through the old!Wang Jian: haha, I want to see you after the waves there are a few pounds today!Meng Wu: I want to see the old bones to kill on the field!Li Si: boxing afraid of a young, afraid of old Lang stick. The two generals are superior to others, on Qin, why is obvious to people, sign a moment, hurt? If the military uniform bad event, Im afraid this is not the two generals to take responsibility for it?Narrator: Chin Speechless looked at Li Si.Chin: all off!Narrator: after him alone and askedHow to see him Prime Minister de Chu?Li Si: l see, is the old general Wang Jian work discretion is advanced in age, take the exit, but lack of momentum. By general young is somewhat impatient, to achieve success and win recognition, analysis of things is not clear, do things like boats, bridges.Qin: these things, I do not see it.Li Si: I know the kings trouble, too.Qin: Oh? Tell me！Li Si: the king is worried about who gets rid of chu. General Wang Laos illustrious military exploits, in the prestigious, said to do. Mongolia and less general are my grandparents will be the pillars of the Qin state, morrison. Hard choices.Qin: I know who Li Si is.Li Si: King of the lottery. The so-called .Qin: you see?Li Si: the minister did not know what to do, but the minister knew such a story, and did not know whether the king would listen to it or notQin: Oh? Tell me。Li Si: ancient legends, water and Gong Gong for Vulcan zhurong to contend for the world of a war lord. There was flooding fire, people can not live. Until the world support Gong Gong was defeated, knocked down the Buzhou mountain. The God of fire was seriously wounded and returned to heaven. When God nvwaniangniang see the world and misery, to save people,Come up with a solution.Qin: what?Li Si: use water to put out the fire and use fire water. The fire destroyed water, water dried into clouds, stored in the sky. Because the fire is not in a party, but together with each other and are no longer evil side. Later generations call it water and fire. Nu Wa is to use this method flexibly to use water and fire, surplus and surplus, and make up for lack of harmony. Thus, later generations will have save the people in the water and fire such allusions.Qin: the harmony. Make it harmonious. The king knows!Li Si: does the king know how to do it?Our thanks to you: this story ah, ha ha. You go back first.Li Si: I retire.Narrator: second days to win the party Mongolia Wu Jian, a total of 350 thousand leading army troops on the south, which has out at chu.(five)Jing Ke stood silent in the wind. Heavy wind blows his Shuangbin hair. Nobodys street was covered with a layer of sand fog. The ship embarked on a journey. The west is right in front of him. So what about the future? Wheres the future?Fortune teller: the warrior, the small old son has a word, I have no interest in listening to men?Jing Ke: (sighs). Mr.Fortune teller: you are the?Jing Ke: No, fortune teller, sir. Even the names of people who dont have a face can be counted out.Fortune teller: (the fortune teller said slowly ciqin).Jing Ke: (eyes wide open) sir!Fortune teller: Alas.Jing Ke: (bow) but did not dare to ask you. However, this trip to the party, but also please advise mr.Fortune teller: This goes West, not to mention.Jing Ke: why is that?Fortune teller: Qin guonai de water body in the headwater. Our 95 extreme reigns, the trend has been set. Why temporary loyalty, come?Jing Ke: I know, I dont think so!Fortune teller: compared to you, little old son more reconciled.Jing Ke: are you?Fortune teller: if you had seen me twenty years ago, you should have been very careful to call a Mowgli.Jing Ke: Mowgli? Wei. Mowgli? You are the four princes of the Warring States period of his Weiwuji? Does not Mowgli commit suicide?Fortune teller: Oh, for the protection of the Weiwuji constant, burglary Zhao Fu save covered the main high power. Today the muddle-headed, raising private catamites. Wei now is that the world Longyangjun simon. If I dont die, how can I get rid of that freak? Instead of being killed by a monster, not suicide!Jing Ke: what do you mean no Wei, six unmanned, Qin monarch world, has been settled?Fortune teller: if the Warring States four sons are in, and how can let Qin dog succeed?! In the past, four princes of the Warring States period consistent anti Qin, six of one heart and one mind, friendship is unprecedented, invincible. Then. Qin dog fanjianji succeed, killing a family of 8000 people Meng Tian Wen; Changping war, Qin dog with fanjianji transferred veteran white pit kill Zhao Lian Po, drop four hundred thousand soldiers, including Zhao kill empty talk, resulting in Pingyuan Zhaosheng gas hematemesis died; Chunshenjun life turned out to be his wife for the state and the people. Brother Li Sha family. Hum! The so-called world tiger meat, the dog did eat shit, this will only make him gouzei fraud timidly! You say,Can good ministers come to a good end?Jing Ke: Mr. Qin Italy, this not worth mentioning?Fortune teller: thats the case.Jing Ke: but Mr. GUI support teacher?Fortune teller: no loss of GUI disciples, as Jun think.Jing Ke: Excuse me, Mowgli had stolen descriptor save it, ever regret?Fortune teller: Hey. Ill die without regrets!Jing Ke: now, mister, farewell. (turn off the end.)Fortune teller: (smile) ha ha, disciple of a valiant legend GUI, right enough.(six)Li Si: take the messenger to the temple.Jing Ke slowly went up to the palace under the guidance of his entourage.Him: who are you?Jing Ke: Yan Guo Messenger, Jing Ke.Qin: people, will take up the map.Li Si: King, general fan head period is from him.Qin: Oh? Ha ha, then give you personally pr